a glass of milk

Lying in bed again... tonight I am absolutely exhausted. Neck is sore, feet are tired, legs are bruised and jaw is throbbing. Funnily enough, I feel all these things, and I didn't even get into a punch up (what are rort!!). Hehehe... I can hear someone is listening to music... it might be Bec (her room is next to mine).

What a packed weekend! Carnivale Christi was on, and CYS was heavily involved (i.e. Vincent planned the Youth Fest, and our heroic team executed the plans). Gotta love the CYS team man... the things they do - it's amazing. For those who don't know, Carnivale Christi is a weekend long event that the Sydney Archdiocese holds to celebrate faith through art, dialogue and... well... a festival. Today was the festival of faith... and WOW - I was impressed! The piazza outside the cathedral was full of stalls of people who were soooo proud of their faith. We had a whole heap of different cultures selling food, religious orders giving our prayer cards, mission teams telling their stories and encouraging people to spread the faith in Africa, India and Cambodia. Both young and old people performed - jazz bands, rock bands, cultural dances, vocal ensembles... the works. As I sat there amidst the kerfuffle, I decided that the Festival of Faith is something that every Catholic has to experience at least once in their life.

Last night was also a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I will forever remember collapsing in the middle of the massive school hall, as the rest of the team heroically packed the final bits of pieces of equipment into our van. Tristan sat next to me and we both confessed how much speaking at the front can take out of us. The YouthFest for 2006 was finally over (mind you, it was about midnight), and the speakers, lights, sound system, laptops, projectors, screens, cables, sacred space materials, candles, cables, leads and left-over food was all stored up in our beast of a vehicle, ready to be driven home. Everyone was exhausted. I have a new-found respect for Tristan and Joe... their technical abilities, and their ability to trouble-shoot every single technical bug we experienced last night (and we really did experience EVERY technical bug... far out - from microphones crackling, the projector not projecting, songs skipping or looping, videos playing out of sync... gargh gargh and gargh again!)

By the time I got home, all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed under my covers and have a good cry. Not because life was stuffed, but because I distressed and exhausted, and needed a hug from my Savior. I left everyone in the kitchen to consume the sausages and eggs I'd fried up (by that time it was about 1am), and went upstairs to have a deep think about the fact I hadn't had a single proper meal for the whole week, and was trying to function with less than 5 hours of sleep every night. I think it all caught up on me today, so instead of watching the final soccer match of the Archbishop's Cup, I fell asleep in the back seat and didn't wake up until the sun had already set.

***

This weekend I realised that God will use or do anything to make sure we all know that HE is in control, and we shouldn't try to be. Sometimes it's really hard to keep remembering that He has a bigger plan than our own. When things don't turn out the way we want them to, the last thing we think of doing is stepping back to take a panoramic view of life... but when we do it's a comfort to know that we are but a single thread in a massive tapestry that is both complicated, but magnificent and truly awesome.

I also realised that there are a handful of people, who, when I see (regardless of how often, or how rarely), always make me feel really happy and grateful for their existence. Deacon Liem is one, Vicky (from WYD Bus 2) is another, and of course Darryl (my little brother), Caitlyn (my niece) and Ivy. These are people who probably don't really know each other, but seem to make my heart feel that little bit more complete every time I see them. Probably because they're just... well... special. Don't know how else to explain it - but they all remind me of different blessings of both the past and the present.

Then tonight, at Tristan's youth mass, I realised that there are some games that will always be challenging, and (regardless of your age) can always be fun. Concentration is one of them. The game where you have to count to 20 in a group of people is another. Sometimes childishness is the only solution when you're exhausted.

Aha... and of course... there's always those things that make life seem ok, even when it's totally everywhere and not ok. Like books you read as a kid (atm I'm re-reading The Adventures of Snugglepot and Cuddlepie by May Gibbs), that phone call from the person that makes you giddy, and a glass of milk before bed.

hey Mr Architect, this one's for you! hahaha

Your results:
You are Supergirl

Lean, muscular and feminine.
Honest and a defender of the innocent.

Supergirl		92%
Superman		70%
Spider-Man		70%
Batman		70%
Hulk		70%
Wonder Woman		67%
The Flash		65%
Green Lantern		65%
Catwoman		65%
Robin		64%
Iron Man		60%

Hahaha... yeah you better recognise! Hehe... jz kidding.
PS. Thanks Aron.

brain fart

Brain fart: (n) A moment when your brain ceases to function, and all useful thoughts related to the current subject fail to surface. [Bec Forrest]

Today, according to Bec, was a total brain fart day. I can't speak for her, because I wasn't around her today (they were doing a retreat for All Saints)... but it's been a brain fart week on my part.

Right now I'm in my bed at the CYS house... lying under my sheets, ready to go to bed (20 minutes til curfew.. whoops) - haven't lay in bed with a laptop for months... I haven't slept in this bed for weeks (I'm only sleeping in here because sleeping with a swollen mouth is highly uncomfortable, leaving me somewhat restless).

I feel like I've moved in again for the first time. I guess coz I brought a whole heap of winter clothes with me (our house to like a tomb in Winter), and also because I plan to stick around the area more often on our days off (I never fully appreciate living right next to the beach - I always have a yearning to go back West and visit friends... or have friends visit me! Buhahaha)

It's good being back with the team though. Driving around in our massive van, listening to "Summer of '69" and all the other typical road trip songs that Boks downloaded. Joe is sporting a spunky new haircut since I saw him about two weeks ago... and they're down at the RSL watching tonight's fight. Sarah, Beth and I lounged around in the kitchen talking about old high school friends and relationships with mothers... (strange girly talk while I took about half an hour to eat about 3/4 of a meat pie), and Bec came in to say hi when she saw my light on....

These guys have become a second family. As we drove down the windy Clovelly Rd this afternoon, I realised there are so many people I know that I never keep in touch with... yet they're still good mates... and I guess that's what makes a good friend - people you don't have to talk to every single day, yet their hearts and insides are the same the next time you see them, be it two days or two years.

Yesterday was cool because Nez and I finally caught up. Went to Mass, had breakfast, and caught a DVD (one of the stupidest teen ficks of all time, mind you - but Christina Milian is a hottie). I figure he's one of those friends. We hardly talk as much as we used to, but I can still cry on the phone to him and he'll still offer that holy, brotherly advice that makes Nez... well... Nez.

I was in bed on Monday night, and Sav drove past, beeped like a maniac and yelled out my name. *sigh* one thing I miss living so far from friends is knowing that they're thinking about you when they drive past your house... but it was fun to hear it again, and feel appreciated.

And then last night I spent about four hours on the couch while Edz tried to console me in my agony. The TV was on, but we weren't really watching, and it was just funny because I'm sure he wanted to squirm because I was squirming, and my cheeks were swollen, so he just kept laughing. Well... laughing, and trying to get me to cheer up without making me smile, because smiling kinda hurts at the moment.

Gargh... why am I reminiscing over such things and such people when it's only gonna make me wanna go home and visit them?! Oh btw... Caitlyn threw up on me yesterday... yes.. .she's a star, I tell you. The most talented little critter... but she can't crawl yet.

Life... oh life... oh life.... dooo dooop doop dooo...

that random day off...

Confession: I haven't showered at all today. Actually, I'm two movies through my chic-flick marathon, and I've practically moved into the living room. I was supposed to visit my sister today, but haven't had the energy... really just wanted to sleep and rest and not think about anything.

So when Roanne approached me with deep thoughts and opinions about the behaviour of particular male friends, I shrugged them off. Not in the mood to get analytical. Not in the mood to hear kerfuffle about boys who don't know what they're doing with themselves (I've had enough encounters with them thank you!)

My cheeks feel like bits of my pillows got sewn into them during the operation on Saturday morning. I was told yesterday that I didn't look too puffy, but I woke up this morning and my cheeks had puffed up with striking vengeance, so I've been sitting here all day, feeling chubbier than Caitlyn, wishing I could consume food that required chewing, because slurping yoghurt, jelly and mashed potatoe doesn't seem to satisfy any hunger I've felt all wkd.

Atm I'm totally crushing on Samuel Ball and Mark Ruffalo - two gorgeous guys (who, funnily enough, are in one of my favourite movies - Suddenly 30), and having just watched that movie, I'm now daydreaming about that particular someone who is just as cute, down-to-earth and funny... and still thinks I'm gorgeous and smelling beautiful, despite my fat cheeks and bad post-operative breath. (Btw i don't actually know if "that someone" exists yet. I figure if he does, he'll know to visit me bringing offerings of taro milk tea with pearls, and an unending supply of hugs.)

This afternoon's major decisions involve:
1. Whether to watch Now and Then OR A Little Princess.
2. Should I call uni and apply for graduation?
3. Should I eat strawberry or orange jelly?

Hehe... yeah life is tough ay?

zzzzzzzzzzz....

Lessons after an NZ experience:

#1 - I can't deal with boys who snore. This whole trip I've tried to stay as feminine as possible, feeling like I need to counter the overdose of testerone I've encountered after two weeks with JUST boys. As much as I love Edwin, Suarez, Nereus and Bokyo, their rhythmic sleeping sounds have left me sleepless this whole holiday... so yeah... *sigh* So much for going home feeling more relaxed ay?

#2 - New Zealand is mighty beautiful. It's landscapes are fantastic, it's animals are funny and it's cities are so much fun. Mountains disappear and reappear behind mist and clouds... and the view from the ferry when we arrived at South Island. *WOW!* breathtaking stuff mate!
(Remind me to show you all a video of the massive bunch of cows we found on the road on our drive from Picton when Edwin and Boks stopped to pee... NZ scenery - what an amusement!)

#3 - Travelling with Boks has been awesome coz his poses crack me up and he's not afraid to walk around, explore a place's lifestyle and culture, and chat up shop assistants and absolute strangers just for the sake of having a good time.

#4 - Vegetables and fruit are integral to one's diet.

#5 - New Zealand ice cream is worth it - even on days when you are sporting a massive jacket, a scarf, a pair of gloves and a white beanie.

#6 - It is possible to enjoy and appreciate a rainy day - so long as you're in Hanmer Springs and up the road from hot thermal springs and have access to a private spa room.

#7 - Fancy schmancy hotels aren't all that worth it after a few weeks in hostels. A bed, clean sheets and a place to shower is all you need. I've learnt that you don't even need a TV - not in Christchurch anyway. Besides, you meet more people and hear more languages when you're in a hostel with travellers who don't have any money... :p

#8 - KFC tastes the same - no matter where you are in the world.

#9 - Peacocks are snobby. We went to the zoo today, and I got snobbed by a Peacock. Far out... talk about depressing. And then Edz fed the giraffe and I got rejected... (I still reckon it's only coz the giraffe knew it was his birthday)

#10 - NZers in Christchurch don't know what Gloria Jeans coffee is. We asked a store assistant if he knew where the nearest "Gloria Jeans" was, and he replied with, "Hmm... I don't know if there's one of those around. But there is a Just Jeans just up the road...?"

And with that... I'm gonna go pack. See you soon Sydney!

backpackers paradise

It's been over a week since I've touched the keyboard. I love being able to walk into a youth hostel, pay $2 and jump on the net for half an hour. Might mean nothing to most people, but for me (who happens to be in a different country right now) it's mighty exciting.
At the moment I'm checkin my mail, Boks and Eddoes are playing Connect Four in the lobby of Base Backpackers in Wellington, New Zealand. I love the feeling of being in a new city. This gives me faint memories of London and our arrival in Athens.

Have been in NZ for over a week now. Last week was pretty action packed - visited some geothermal rocks that were pumping out steam in Te Puia, went white water rafting, lugeing, Zorbing, bungee jumping... had a nice relaxing wkd in the Bay of Islands in a fancy shmancy studio unit and took a (cold) cruise up to Cape Brett... had a pretty dreary day exploring Auckland yesterday, and today was a 9 hour drive down through the North Island to Wellington. Edwin - what a hero. Drove down with only 3 hours sleep coz we dropped off Nez at Auckland airport at 6:30am.

Hmm.. so what now? I'm loving the laid back lifestuly of everyone I've met here. I'm one of those ppl who walk the streets of Sydney trying to get people to smile (man ppl in Australia seem so depressed) but here in NZ, everyone smiles at you - or smiles back when you acknowledge their presence on the road. Had an interesting conversation with Boks about how NZers have adopted (and overtaken the quality of) the calm, accepting and welcoming Australian culture. Come on Aussies? Where's the hospitality? Everyone's so nice to tourists here, but in Oz they're all uptight and critical. Gargh.

I miss home, but I'd seriously move to NZ. Wellington at night reminds me of our nights in Europe in August last year, and I've totally lived up the experience of living with Suarez, Nez and Eddoes for a week. Hahaha... and we saw about 30 Australian YFCers in Sky Tower yesterday, so it was like I didn't miss out on going to conference - we may as well have asked Brian Musa to pull out a guitar at the top of Auckland's tower and start a worship.

I've also realised the value of the PSP coz Boks had the live Jack Johnson concert on a UMD, so we drove down to Wellington listening to him live.... *sigh* Jack Johnson to me is what John Mayer is to my sis Roanne. Only Jack's better... (hehehehe... yeah what? You know it's true).

Man it's late. 11:43pm, but our hotel is just next door (again, somewhat fancy shmancy... with really funky carpet that vaguely reminds me of my Nagle uniform and Eddoes' chucks).

ryan, jonna, jane, roanne, rina, caitlyn, mark, jean, annabelle, mum, dad, anj, kamella, gerry, ian, sav, amardeep and cobes... missin you all at the moment.

Angela's graduating! Wow I'm mega proud of her!! YAY! *sigh* we're all growing up damn it. becoming police officers, travellers, mums, wives, dads, and the whole shebang... it's a bit crazy. And here I am - I haven't even applied for graduation. Hahaha... whoops.

Oh well - I've discovered a new mantra while I've been on this trip - TAKE IT AS IT COMES. Ehp... living life by the day baby...

See ya'll back in Syd soon! Only 6 days to go. Wellington, Hanmer Springs and Christchurch... watch out!

**PS sorry for the typos - Í've got 3minutes left.**

Atm I should be doing my essay for CAEC. I'm leaving this house for NZ at 4am tomorrow, so it better get done before I go to bed at night. The annoying thing is, my computer crashed and lost my notes after 3hours of working on the stupid thing. I got up early this morning just to get started... and suddenly it was all over at 1pm because all 1,683 words disappeared after the blue screen of death ate them up. Stupid blue screen.

But that doesn't take away the cause of celebration. HAPPY EASTER to the world! And especially to Caitlyn, whose happy chubby cheeks always seem to make everyone in this house to warm and happy every time she comes to visit.

Meanwhile I was browsing through my e-journal again and found a snippet from what I was talking to my sister about about 4 months ago. So true... soooo so true.

***

The fact that I want him to fight for me… and if he doesn’t, it’s his loss. I want him to prove to me that out of all the men in my life right now, I’ll be making the right choice choosing to be with him.

It’s natural to want the guy you’re attracted to to be your hero. And it’s natural to hurt when he fails that expectation. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to expect a hero. A woman’s heart deserves to be won. And the warrior fighting has to realise that the higher the risks, the more opportunity there is to be brave.

it's what i do best...

Sitting in my room at the mission house.

I see:
* Garnier Fructis Style Smoothing Milk
* Dove Essential Nutrients Protective Tinted Moisturiser
* Codral day and night tablets
* Box of Pink Kleenex tissues
* WYD Germany picture display
* Pic of SPY kids from the 2004 City to Surf
* I-zone camera
* White fetish slip-on shoes
* A fat purple cushion
* Bottle of Cool Ridge water
* My Christian Leadership notes (guilt trip... DO YOUR ASSIGNMENT JOY!!)
* Green side bag
* Book shelf containing the following titles: The Courage To Teach, Introducing the New Testament, The Complete Adventures of Snugglepot and Cuddlepie, Incurable, A Lineage of Grace, He Chose the Nails, The Purpose Driven Life, Harry POtter and the Half-Blood Prince, Passion and Purity, Love and Responsibility, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers, 1000 Questions and Answers, Chocolate Heaven, and The Women's Weekly Best Food Collection.
* The blue sky

I hear:
* "Softer to Me" by Relient K
* The tapping of my fingers on the laptop keys
* People walking around, shutting and opening doors down stairs
* A faint breeze
* Sniffling
* A car driving down the street

I keep:
* All my letters
* Finding pointless things to do that will help me procrastinate
* Checking my email

I really should:
* Stop blogging and do my work. =p

feels like home...

I just:
- Finished 1/4 a tub of Nutella.
- Got out of the shower after rinsing purple paint off my arms (thanks Gemma...)
- Fell off a ladder about 3 hours ago. =)
- Printed out the final pages of the book I'm making.

Currently:
- Typing away at my home PC.
- Wearing my sky blue PJ pants and a towel on my head.
- Listening to Third Day - "Turn Your Eyes"

Currently in love with:
- All the volunteers who helped paint the SPY house today (esp. all those parents who were sooo thoughtful enough to bring fried rice, fried chicken and ICE CREAM!!! YEAH!)
- Autumn sunshine (especially the moments when it romantically streamed through the CYS sisterhood room and the chapel every morning for the past week).
- My neighbourhood. Nothing beats living out west - no, not even the beaches and the Eastern suburbs.
- John Butler Trio.

Jittery and excited because:
- I pack my bags and go road-tripping around NZ in less than ten days! YEAH!!
- I'm going bungee jumping.
- This year is flying.
- The best is yet to come...

*****

There are days when I feel like a nomad with no place to fit in, or feel at home. There are days when I'm neither here nor there and I wonder where it is I'm supposed to belong, who my real friends are, and what is I'm supposed to be doing and why God seems so far away.

But today I found home amongst twenty or so volunteers and a couple of buckets of blue paint. God bless the people in my Parish...

can't be bothered to think of a title

Got home from class today and walked straight to the laundry to hang my clothes (hoping it doesn't rain tonight, coz what psycho - other than myself - hangs clothes at 9pm?). It was the class for term at the CAEC, and thank God it was because all I did for the last 15 minutes was scribble pictures of the lecturer all over the margin of the book. He's not the most lively fellow... but he's very interesting. It's just that... I'm absoluely knackered and have been for a quite some time now.

So today I breathe a sigh of relief that there is a pause in our schedule, and there's no major retreats happening for a while.

People ask me how ministry's going, and all I can do is beam and say "GREAT!" And it is great - but it's still tiring. And ministry of any sort will stay hard. But the satisfaction and fulfillment at the end of everyday is unbeatable... and that's why I'm glad I'm doing it.

Atm I'm in the offices listening to old tracks... like stuff from the Dawson's Creek album, and some John Butler Trio tunes. Atm John Legend is... well... a legend (current favourite is "So High") and I'm so totally grateful that Sarah and Joe appreciate Jack Johnson as much (if not more!) than I do.

Tonight was my first truly proud moment as a chef. For the first time, I cooked something that didn't taste funny, and people actually complemented with sincerity. No cheating either - it just goes to show that experimentation with cream, mushrooms, cheese, oregano and beef works. Sesame honey carrots and sugar peas are a good addition to such a dish. We left the house feeling very satisfied... or at least I did. And Joe paid a high complement as we were driving to Lidcombe, so I am feeling very loved right now.

I realised I haven't been blogging much because there's nothing to procrastinate from when you're a missionary. Usually my blogs (including this one!) are written because I'm procrastinating and because I want to use that time procrastinating trying to think of something insightful to contribute to the public sphere... but it's all usually random gibberish (hence the title).

Hmm... so what's been making me so tired lately? Well I went for a swim on Sunday - that was awesome fun. I accomplished my goal of 15 laps in half an hour (for many people that's not that big a deal, but a scrawny amateur swimmer like myself, I feel it deserves a mention!). That's five laps more than the week before, so I'm pretty happy about that.

Monday was one of the funnest days I've ever had!! It deserves to go down in the history books, and it's a shame I didn't take any photos... but it was such a perfect day - not a cloud in the sky! The team went to Centennial Park and had a sports day with the Trojan team and some of the CYS ex-teamies. Sports day for us means random innings of continuous cricket, a puffed round of ultimate frisbee, and then pausing the energy burning day with some lunch and a game of Cranium under the shade of a weirdly shaped tree that Joe insisted on climbing... until he freaked out after finding a spider web further up the branches.

Late afternoon is my favourite time of Autumn days. The shadows stretch along the ground and I love it. Joe and I kicked around a soccer ball for at least an hour, and talked about nothing and everything while the rest of the team played Cluedo. We didn't stop until our feet got sore -but it was worth it - I haven't had a full day of major physical activity in ages!

And then today came along and I was reminded of what it was like to be in year 9 at an all girls school.... (hmmm... no nostalgia... just cringe-feeling - year 9 wasn't the best of years) All I really recall from that year was a lot of petty fights, teenage angst, and bad attitude. Thank God we were over pouting at the camera. The girls I met today weren't much different to what my grade were... but the difference was we got to tell them that judging each other wasn't going to do anything. The greatest people are the ones that build people up - not tear them down. I'm really grateful I got to do a testimony about being able to see myself through God's eyes. Girls get fed so much crap about needing to prove themselves, but I know we don't have to. God made us the way he wanted us to... and that's we should walk around with pride, knowing we're clothed in his dignity.

So yeah... life in the CYS house has been mad fun, and I'm learning heaps (including how to play drums!) I am also learning and resdiscovering the greatness of seeing things through the eyes of a child. But more on that later... for now... I gotta look up NZ accomo.

Oh yeah... I'm going to New Zealand!! 13 days!!! YEAHH!!!!!!!

head out of the ground

Greetings friends who read this blasted BLOG! Oh man.. I feel blog starved... it feels like forever since I've posted anything. And it's not because I haven't had anything to say either... I've had plenty to say (mostly pointless, random gibberish, that I'm sure you're used to) but just haven't had the time to sit here and pointlessly hammer away at my laptop.

Firstly because most of my spare time - wait... most of? What on earth do I mean by that? Spare time is actually a rarity at the CYS house, and even my time off at home - which has been shortened to less than 24hrs a week - is usually spent asleep, with my sisters, neice, parents or muchly missed friends of the Western region! But yeah anyway... the spare time I DO have, is spent hammering away at my new friend Asher.

He's black, got good rhythm (provided I hit the right thing), can get pretty loud (much like me), lives in the upstairs common room and totally loves the ocean views.

Ehp... Ash is my new friend from Bambams - the beautiful new black shiny drum kit that totally bumped up the standard of all 21st birthday presents. Wow... wasn't expecting that one! Thanks to all the people who made my birthday so blessed. I don't have the energy to describe just how spoilt I was when I celebrated this year... but man... I have experienced gratitude at a level never before reached in my 21 years of living.

Hey... so... life in the missionary field? What to say? Today I witnessed the most awesome level of childlike faith I've ever seen. The REC actually got me teary at the end of the day when she so confidently, lovingly and sincerely proclaimed that she saw God in each of those 32 yr 6 students, and that she actually looked up to them because of their enthusiasm and excitement.

One of the many favourites of today was Paul, who, as a an answer to the question "why should we as leaders ask 'what would Jesus do?'," stuck his hand up in the air so quickly and said so matter-of-factly into the microphone, "Because he's our king and we believe in him!"

WOW.

Gotta love that innocence ay?

Today, the sunrise and the moon made my day. One of those natural blessings that I get to see when I pop my head out of the room... And speaking of my room... I better check it because atm I strung all my washing in there (undies and shirts gallore!) because of the rain this afternoon.

So to end it quickly, here's my "Golden List" for today:

1. The sky this morning - glorious blue, red and everything in between.
2. The yr 6 kids and everything about them that totally made my heart clucky and fuzzy today.
3. The purple Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle toy from the McDonald's Happy Meal
4. I was walking around Bondi with a pink balloon and got to see a 3yr old girl smile so big just coz I gave it to her
5. Spending time with the girls on team
6. Laughing at the guys (esp. Boks and Joe)
7. Tuesday's conversation
8. Daydreaming about NZ in April
9. God's way of winning over my heart (esp. through Elizabeth Elliot's "Passion & Purity")
10. Singing Motown songs in the van.

nothing in particular

I'm in a contemplative mood - what with the rain splatting on the roof, the blinding lightning, the cars making swoosh sounds over the road, and the angry thunder freaking me out every now and again.

No... sorry, actually I'm just procrastinating again. My current crisis is that I can't seem to get comfortable - no matter where I am. It's a perplexing conundrum... but it's one that's been bothering me for quite some time now. And you know what totally sucks more?? We've managed to run out of ink. At this very second my printer is spitting out sheets of paper marked with splotches of black nothing. Gargh...!

On a positive note, Caitlyn came over for a visit this afternoon for lunch. It was the most heart-warming experience, having a tiny little baby fall asleep on my lap. I was thoroughly entertained for an hour, this fragile little baby peacefully dozing, pausing only momentarily to stretch, flinch, or open her curious little eyes and look at me with suspicion. She was very considerate not to make any noise as her parents napped in our living room. Jean and Mark ought to be commended for how well they cope with their exhaustion.

Hmmm... so what's to say today? Nothing much. Except there are a few things I should probably remind myself (one gains pah-lenty of wisdom after watching 7 episodes of the 2nd season of The OC in one weekend)... uh... like:
- Avoiding the truth will ultimately screw up your life
- There is no such thing as doing nothing, because even the act of doing nothing has a consequence
- Nice big houses and fancy-schmancy clothes will never equate to happiness
- If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything (the character of Marisa is a perfect example of this... I swear she annoys the hell out of me)
- There's hope for everyone (even Summer...)
- Never take guys like Zach for granted
- Don't do backflips unless you're totally confident you can do it, and if you start doing a backflip, do not (I repeat DO NOT!) stop half-way or you will kick yourself in the face with your knee and land on your back (not a good way to stay healthy and flexible)

Yeah so that last thing was not something I learnt while watching The OC. I learn that important life lesson on Friday afternoon at the Don Bosco centre... I've got video footage to prove it... and have been periodically treating myself to shiatsu massages all weekend to overcome the physical trauma of my (failed) attempt at primary school gymnastics... hmmm....

welcome Earthling!

She says: Dude! I'm in love!!
He says: Awww... you're Tita Joy!
She says: Ah! What? Tita?? ...
He says: Oh that's right, you're not Filo, you're Aussie. Aunty Joy. (pause) Aunt Joy. *cue sinister laugh* Man, you're old!
She says: Ah shut up. *smiles* Hmm.. I'm in love.

***

There's a photo of the cutest little baby girl on my phone. Her name is Caitlyn Julia, and she's the tiniest and cutest living creature I've laid eyes on, and she has totally been milking the privelege of being caressed in the arms of pah-lenty of Enriquez & dela Cruz family members since she was born on Monday. She has curious, sleepy eyes that stare at you in awe, and a smile that has earned many adoring kisses from our lil step-cousin AJ.

***

Dear Caitlyn,
Well... welcome to planet Earth! You arrived a little early, but that's ok. I don't know if the Internet will still be around when you grow up and blogging will probably be out of date, but I figure I should pay you a tribute since you are one ultra-special new-comer to the family.

So... the day you were born was exciting! I drove to uni (ehp... the firt time your Lolo let me drive the land cruiser around) and I got the news of you being born as I was parked outside a nursing home in Beecroft (hmm... is that ironic?). I told my two best mates first... and drove to the hospital to see you and your parents. Your Dad was totally in love with you, and your Mum was a natural at taking care of you from day one. You probably couldn't tell (and if you could, I'm sure you don't remember) but everyone who was hanging around Bed 10 was glowing with excitement at your arrival.

Btw, you're decision to get here on Monday was excellent timing. You're Lola was up in Sydney, instead of at work in Canberra, and I wasn't all the way at Clovelly. So luckily, we got to see you on the day you arrived - all pink, tiny, squashed up and ultra-adorable.

I believe your Lolo has saved the newspaper that we got on the day you were born. Wow... that's sweet!

Hmm... so what's to tell you about this planet? I should apologise... it's a bit messed up. A lot of others who arrived before you have managed to screw up a few things (morality, optimism, idealism, religion... just to mention a few) - but fear not! There are still many people who are working through the mess and trying to make things better for you, and your future brothers, sisters, cousins and what-not.

Plus, there are many AMAZING and very VERY cool things in this world that humanity can't get rid of - God has built them into creation, and hopefully nothing drastic will happen, because I'd love for you to experience these things with a lot anticipation and excitement. Rainbows, music, swimming in the ocean, bubble baths, bush walks, trampolines, chocolate ice cream, snow, baby rabbits and fresh cut grass are just a few of life's irreplaceable treasures. Remind me to show these things to you as you're growing up.

And just in case you forget (although I promised myself on the day you were born that I'd never LET you forget)... GOD LOVES YOU VERY MUCH! And that's why you're here... because you're an expression of God's love. Hehehe... your hair will grow, your baby fat will disappear, you'll grow up & out, you'll probably adopt a bit of an attitude... but God will love you all the same... and so will your Mum & Dad. Plus... you've got four doting aunties who are already totally in love with you... just in case you don't feel like talking to your parents about these things.

Don't forget the era of laptops, palm-tops, mobile mania, Robo-sapiens, cars with GPS, Jack Johnson, Kanye West, John Legend, and riduculous but entertaining genres of music, movies and reality TV.

This is the era where everyone is a cynic (or pretends they are) - everyone except the people who are at peace with the world, how it was created, and their place. I'm hoping you grow up to be one of those exceptions... an optimist, an adventurer, a girl who is quite happy to be discovering things that are both happy and disturbing, a girl who has her confidence in the God that created her, died for her and is totally, completely and thoroughly ready to love her from head to toe.

Undoubtedly, your time here will be an exciting one!

Love ya lots Caitlyn Julia (currently known as Caiju, Caju, Greedy Guts or Watermelon Baby).

Your pal, Joy (*ahem!* too young to be a Tita...) =p

homesickness

I never thought I'd be one to call home crying. But today's just one of those days... (did u ever hear that song by Monica.. "Just One of Them Days?".. ehp. That's me. Officially girlified.) I tried calling home. But no one's picking up their phone. Tried calling my mum. But we're never on the phone long enough for an actual conversation. Wish I could call Roanne... but she's at a retreat. Have no idea what my other sisters are doing, but I figure if they're not picking up the home phone, they're out doing something.

Right now I want to vomit, cry and vege. Right now, I want familiarity. Even though this place is officially home, I miss familiarity. I miss my family. But they don't seem to be missing me. And I miss my friends... crap - do I ever. Our stupidity, jokes, laziness and *sigh*... BLEH.

I just had a flashback of being in Suarez's living room on a Friday night. It was almost two years ago..crap. Back when I was doing ICOM 2-0-something in 2nd year uni, and Friday nights equated to late-night DVDs with Suarez, Nereus and Eddoes (and sometimes even Gerry... aww Gerry... where are you these days??). I miss the bumming. The bludging. The arguments about girls and guys. All that talk about love and how not to fall for cheap, overrated versions of it. Those conversations about nothing.

I miss random visits from Ian because he could smell fish coming out the kitchen window. I miss Sav & Pielle driving past my window and screaming out my name for the whole neighbourhood to hear.

And then there was Boston Markets. Why did they have to get rid of that restaurant? Why did people fail to see the value of corn bread?? And that $20 meal & movie deal at Reading Cinema that Ryan, Nez, Edwin and I exploited after deep and meaningful conversations about the skin colour, accent, and ideal qualities of our future partners... priceless stuff man. Ryan and his thing for salsa dancing... hahaha...

Don't get me wrong. Life in the house is awesome, and my friends here are irreplaceable. But so was life out West, and my friends back there are still irreplaceable. West Upperhousehold. Riann, Carlos, Jane, Gerry, Jons, Dom, Jaypee... Playing charades in my living room. Jumbling Tower. The TABOO session at Ian's place for Jonna's 21st. The beach. The St Andrew's choir and morning breakfasts at McDonald's.

I MISS MY MATES.

Bleh.

can't stand...

Bleh... it's Saturday, a beautiful blue sky is right outside my window **cue the fresh ocean breeze** but man I can't get out of this seat. I'm dying, I tell you. I want to walk to the beach and lie in the sand... but I can't move. BLAAAARRRRGGGHHH!

Couldn't sleep last night. I was still awake at 2:30am and put some music on. Tried to nod off but got up at 4:30am, walked to the toilet conquered my fear of ghosts attacking me on my way to toilet, only to be faced with the challenge of NOT falling asleep on the toilet seat... walked down stairs and almost collapsed in the kitchen.

Friday night... not fun.

Currently thinking:
- Everyone I want to call is probably at the SFC retreat, and the people who aren't haven't wanted to talk to me since I moved to the city.
- Damn this office - it's never clean.
- What am I going to eat for lunch?
- Can't move... womanhood has paralysed me for the day.
- ROCKY's pizza... mmmmhmmm..
- Yr 7 kids were gorgeous at yesterday's reflection day.
- Craving a watermelon boost juice.
- Wish my friends would visit me.
- Wish my family would too.
- Stupid uni assignments. I thought it was all meant to be over now!
- Wish I could teleport or apparate my way home.
- Wish I had a car with a built-in driver.
- Wish I had someone to snuggle with. Even a puppy would do right now.

instinctively...

Ramblings from a long train ride...

Every animal - with or without a soul - has an instinctive fear. There is some type of natural internal force that intructs us to guard our own life, and the lives of those in our family circle, for fear of losing our most valuable possession - LIFE.

Humans could do a lot of good by considering the lessons learnt from a close analysis of animal behaviour. Notice how an animal knows instinctively how important it is to produce offspring? There is a point somewhere in their life cycle where an internal "click" happens and the animal knows (instinctively!) that one of the most important (if not the most important) purpose for its existence is to produce offspring. Pass the family genes. Reproduce. Encourage the continuity of the species. Protect the bloodline. Ensure survival.

An animal knows how important - or better yet; how sacred - it is to have children. In the animal kingdom (which, by the way, humanity is a part of), motherhood is prized because without it, animals of all species (yes, including our own) would eventually cease to exist.

You're all thinking "thanks for the deep biology lesson Joy, but what's the point?" Well I pose this question... What has humanity done to the sanctity of motherhood???? The more I think about this, the angrier I become. Where is the pride in being able to create and nurture life? For a species so advanced in intellect, emotion, knowledge and technology; for a species that seems so adamant in their pursuit to improve the quality and efficiency of life, why are we so happy to hinder the creation of it?

We are a species that encourages its fellow humans to take pride in scientific or spiritual discoveries and achievements, yet we treat the ability to create the most complex, beautiful, mysterious, delicate, and powerful of all creations with such fear and disdain. How is it that humans can so casually destroy life and desecrate it, when the lowliest and simplest of all animals hold life - and the ability to create it - in such high regard?

It would be easy to justify my intense anger towards advocates of RU-486 with sound Catholic doctrine. But my reasons for contempt against this drug are far more basic than spiritual theology. Whether or not I believe a foetus is alive or dead, with or without a soul; it is the fact that we have allowed ourslves to endanger the life of a potential mother and destroying the potential for life to be created that is so disgusting.

A drug that gives potential mothers the ability to endanger their own life in order to destroy the potential of creating life in her own body is completely contradictory to the animal instinct to protect and continue life. To slow down reproduction in any animal species is unnatural. Motherhood and childbirth are essential to survival. The fact this drug is even being considered to be legalised in Australia shows that we are indeed a lost and doomed species.

I'm starting to see why people are convinced that "the end is near." It may or may not come within the decade or century, but if we wake up one morning and wonder why the fertility rate has dropped, why children dishonour and disrespect their parents, and why sexually transmitted disease is so rampant, we'll have no one to blame but ourselves. (Or has that day come already???)

To support RU-486 (or any other abortion for that matter) desecrates parenthood, builds foundations for broken families, justifies the anti-family sentiment that haunts could-have-been mothers and fathers, and disrespects humanity's unmatched ability to create life with a soul.

I wonder about those who argue ruthlessly that RU-486 is justifiable. Truthfully, it might be useful to a teenager with an unwanted pregnancy, a family with too many children, a woman with an abusive partner, a rape victim... the list goes on. Please don't think for a moment that I haven't considered these people - that their situations are any less deserving of the understanding and mercy that we would desire for ourselves if ever we were ever in their place. Because I have thought about these women... Women who should be respected and honored - as all women should be - for the ability... the gift of bearing a child that could be the difference this world could need.

It saddens me that motherhood has been trivialised. It isn't a trivial matter to infertile young women. It isn't trivial to the couple who has prayed for decades for a child to call their own. It won't be a trivial matter to the generations after us who look around at the broken families, the broken relationships and the broken hearts that litter society because we've discarded the respect due to the one thing sacred to all living things - LIFE.

You may think this issue doesn't apply to you.

It does.

What if your mother had taken that drug? You wouldn't be here. How would you react if it was your sister who wanted to take the risk? Not only will she destroy the possiblity of having a neice or nephew that one time, she risks destroying all possibilities of having a child. She risks her own life. What if it was your wife? Your teacher? Your next door neighbour? Would you be so comfortable to stand back if the women you loved most in the world chose to take that risk? How comfortable would you be if it was your turn to start a family and you couldn't?

How will our children's children value the lives of others if their parents can't value the life of the child?

The respect has to start now. The respect has to start here. The respect has to start with you.

It is human instinct - to live.

it's morphin time!!

Welcome to February - the second month of 2006. January was proof that this year is going to fly by without me even being able to blink.

Yesterday I paid my "real home" (as some friends like to remind me) a visit and spent the early evening diving into childhood memories by watching The Power Rangers Movie. Brought me back to the unforgettable schoolyard moments of 1994 and 1995 when pink ranger was my idol and all I wanted to do was cartwheels and backflips at the back of St Pat's playground in order to fight off those deadly Putties. Man... pink ranger was such a bimbo though. (that explains alot ay?)

Of course there's always my way of making sure I still tease out a moral out of last night's nostalgic couch experience. What was it that the half-naked warrior of the planet Vados was saying? Oh yes... the stronger power lies within.

When all hope is lost, then remember that GOD IS THE STRENGTH OF YOUR HEART.

The best inward sign of vocation is deep gladness – revolutionary but true. If a work is mine to do, it will make me glad over the long haul, despite the difficult days. Even the difficult days will ultimately gladden me, because they pose the kinds of problems that can help me grow in a work if it is truly mine.
[P. Palmer - The Courage To Teach]

It's been a month of training at the CYS house, and without a doubt - the strength to get through the long days is definitely from a source unbeknown to me. Each day brings with it a new set of challenges - be it spiritual, emotional, mental or physical... but I really praise God for providing CYS with such a devoted, affirming, funny and faithful team to do his work this year!

Having said that, if you read this, please note that our first retreat is tomorrow - so please send out a prayer for us!!

We are the limbs and eyes and faces in and through whom Christ plays.
[E.H.Peterson - Christ Plays In Ten Thousand Places]

just don't forget...

There are moments in your life that remind you of the very reason why you were created.

Tonight was one of those moments. Tonight was one of those moments when my heart felt like it was doing more than just pumping blood through my body. It was beating. I could feel its rhythm. My eyes were doing more than processing patterns of light. They were seeing more than the room or the objects in it. They saw more than the screen and more than the reflection in the mirror.

They were seeing life for the first time... again.

It's like that feeling you get when you kiss someone for the first time. Sometimes it's scary. Sometimes you're uncertain. More often than not, you're excited - even though it's like fumbling with a language you don't have a thorough understanding of. Whatever the context, place, time, or person... the constant factor between each time it occurs is that things are different after it happens.

Today's "First Kiss" felt no different.. and much like Drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates, I hope I get to feel it everyday.

Sorry to disappoint any readers, but I thought I should clarify that didn't actually experience any real first kisses with any boys today. But, being the hopeless romantic that I am (sorry to make some of you puke!), I'll liken this feeling that I'm feeling right now to that feeling after The First Kiss.

It started this afternoon as I got to the bus stop after class. I realised then that there was something about today that gave me a little spring in my step as I walked through the car park and over the pedestrian crossing. Something in me made me look at the sky, and despite the murky grey shadows in the clouds, I was comforted. Something in me made me breathe in the air with a deeper appreciation. Despite the cold biting at my skin, I could feel something warm.

These images all sound cliche, but there was nothing cliche about the events of this afternoon.

I got off the bus and went to my doctor's appointment. I was shivering in the waiting room. After watching them try several times to find the right vein to get two blood samples from, I left the pathology lab feeling slightly faint. I called another lab to make another appointment and put down the phone feeling disheartened and afraid. The warm feeling I'd felt at the bus stop was slowly being sapped the longer I stayed at the surgery. At first I thought it was the air-conditioning, but then I realised I was getting colder because of my fear.

I started walking, hoping to get warmer, but the fear got stronger and so did the cold. By the time I reached the automatic doors my teeth were chattering. I walked inside wondering where I could buy a coffee.

And then I saw him.

I looked up, our eyes met, and the cold was evaporated the moment he smiled.

Something in me shifted. Something in me told me this was no ordinary day.

There are very few people I've met who've had the power to make me feel this way. Only the very select few know how to sweep me off my feet without even having to try. But today I saw someone who could - and did. From the moment he smiled, the spring in my step came back. The sky remained grey, but I was comforted. The air was still cold, but I breathed it deeply and gratefully.

That was part one of The Kiss.

Part two was after I packed for Wollongong. Have you ever watched Patch Adams? If you haven't, then go to the video store now. Yes - now. Turn off the computer, jump in the car with your Video Ezy card and get it. Now. Then re-read this blog.

Yes, so - part two. Part Two came through that movie. Part Two was an affirmation and full-stop - or better yet, an exclamation mark - on everything that I felt in Part One. Part Two was God reminding me what I'm going to do with my life. Part Two was God telling me that all my fears, all my insecurities, all my worries and all my concerns were smothered by one overpowering element of my spirit that I have yet to completely embrace... my passion to love. Love Him. Love him.

It's hard to describe and I'm posting it on here because I don't want to forget this feeling - even though I'm having enough trouble articulating it. But I'll give it a go, even though I risk sounding incredibly stupid.

You see... I have a dream. (no wait... that line's been used before. Besides it's wrong -) I have a lot of dreams. And I know, from experience, that when I dream, it's doesn't just remain a dream. It becomes a goal. And, if God likes the goal, he turns it into a plan. And then it becomes reality. And then it becomes my life.

I've seen it happen with a lot of things. The first major thing (not counting anything that happened in high school, although that would be a nice thought...) was the GK Challenge of 2004. With the help of 2 boys names Chris, an unforgettable and irreplaceable priest, and an incredibly dedicated youth group & parish, we were able to raise just under $12,000 to rebuild houses for the poor in Philippines. That's three times the amount I had aimed to raise.

Then there was the youth newsletter. At first it was a once off publication. An announcement that the group existed, and had accomplished great things. Then the accomplishments became monthly, and so did the newsletter. That was dream #2.

Then there was the concert. Call me crazy, but who would've thought a group of teenagers/tertiary students could co-produce a concert in two months? It wasn't a professional shindig. It wasn't a out-of-the-world performance. But from the scratch that we started with, the final product was something to be proud of. And certainly I am - not of me, but of everyone else who made it happen. The production team. The performers. The families. The church. The young people. People who reflected the face of God. People who swept me off my feet. That was dream #3.

Then there was Europe. All 1,257 digital photos prove how amazing that adventure was. Ten countries down before the age of 21. If that isn't a major dream accomplished, I don't know what is.

The current miracle involves living next the beach, right behind a church in an enormous house with its own chapel, and housemates that are out of this world. I get to do what I love to do full-time for a whole year.

And so the list goes on. It's not an extensive list... but the miracle in each achievement sure makes up for the lack of numbers.

The thing you have to understand here is that I'm not putting these up here to brag. I'm merely pointing out something that I've only re-realised tonight: and that's the simple reality that

DREAMS ACTUALLY CAN COME TRUE.

My life is a living, answered prayer. God does it all the time. He actually enjoys it.

And so there I was, watching Patch Adams. And suddenly I got teary. I thought about all my dreams. All my goals. All my plans. They played around in my mind. Before today, they were teasing me as they played through my imagination. They used to taunt and mock me and whisper awful things like, "It'll never happen Joy - just get with reality..."

But not today. Today I contentedly closed my eyes and saw my dreams coming alive. It was almost as if God watched those dreams with me and, with a tender smile extended his hand over the universe, winked, and then drew a massive red tick. And that feeling... ooh do I love that feeling.

The feeling of grasping perfection. Even for a split second. That feeling of bliss. Of hope. Where the heart leaps, or dances, or cries, or skips, or explodes... or maybe all of the above all at the same time. That taste of heaven. That kiss. That First Kiss.

I describe it here because I want to tell myself: don't forget that feeling.

I think they call it love.

Rome Adventure (1962)

I'm a sucker I tell you. It started with the cramping. So I took refuge on my parent's bed and turned the TV on. Usually Saturday afternoon movies on Channel 9 don't affect me much... but suddenly I was hooked on the romance unfolding between Troy Donahue and Suzanne Pleshette.

All of a sudden it was 4:30pm... whoops. And now it's almost 6pm. Hmm... in terms of productivity, I didn't score very well today. But in terms of girlishness... whoa... overload!

We had drinks at a Roman cafe, had a picnic in the mountains, dinner with a jazz band, rode around on a horse and carriage until 3 in the morning, walked up the leaning tower in Pisa, stayed at a chalet in the north Italian valleys, held hands under the table, laughed at each others idiosyncracies, stole kisses... blah blah blah... the only thing missing was him proposing at the Trevi Fountain. Then I realised I wasn't Suzanne Pleshette, my name isn't Prudence Bell...and my ideal guy does not have blonde hair. But I'd definitely appreciate a holiday in Italy... and a ride in a gondola in Venice.

Regardless of my overdose of fantasy drug (and perhaps Naprogesic) this movie could've definitely been thrown in as one of my favourites. *hangs head in shame* If you've never been caught up in a 1960s romance, then get caught up into this one. Although I might be a tad biased - I think I'm attached because I was in Rome less than a year ago, and every time I get sentimental, I start going through my WYD photos again. And the ones from Rome and Paris are priceless!

*sigh* ... bus 2 pilgrims... how I miss you!

flipping chocolate pancakes

What an awesome way to spend a Saturday morning!

Waking up to a bright, beautiful Sunny Summer day. Got two loads of washing done, (I have yet to hang another load on the line... but that can wait til later this afternoon, made some choc-chip pancakes, read few chapters of "A Lesson Before Dying," (a novel) by Ernest J. Gaines, got the kitchen clean... and now.. it's just a matter of getting through two hundred pages of spiritual theology.

Ooooh yeah...

In my streak of kitchen obsessiveness (I cooked a killer tuna omelette for lunch and chicken (with herb & basil fried rice) for dinner last night), I decided this morning was a perfect opportunity to test my (intense lack of) pancake flipping skills. I finally got it right after the third attempt of flipping butter all over the sink.

My conclusion, after what happens to be an extremely exhausting week, is that regardless of what gets you down and what fears you have, la vita e bella. ;o) Sometimes you just need to drop the sad things and concentrate on the simple joys. Like flipping pancakes. The process may be messy - but the result is drool-worthy. :o)

I saw these words of comfort because it's been an emotionally tormenting week. Sometimes it feels like I'll be destined to make the same mistakes over and over again: trusting others and myself more than trusting God; getting too caught up in a moment (and we all know that moments are just that: moments that aren't intended to last forever); lying to myself to make myself feel better; being dishonest and closed off from the people who are just trying to help... the list goes on. To some extent it's comforting to know that these repeated mistakes are part of humanity's fallen nature... but I'm kind of sick of falling - I really just want to find my feet and start walking. Perhaps the real mistake I make is when I do find my feet, I attempt running almost straight away, and stack it because I'm going too fast.

And so the real challenge is patience. Not just with myself, but with other people. Especially patience for the people who seem to be holding onto my very fragile heart - because forcing them to hurry up and get it right risks them falling and stacking it too. And as they fall.. the fragile heart they're holding hits the ground and shatters too.

On a more positive note, last night was a soothing, quiet and peaceful remedy to what was a emotionally unbalanced week. I was in a flood of tears on Thursday night while I visited the CYS team in Bathurst. I guess because I still feel like I'm all over the place... and I should've been at Mark's mum's surprise party last night... but I just couldn't hack being around people. So instead I kept it quiet last night. A quiet dinner, a heart-moving Italian flick, and a sweet and sentimental moment on the couch, just wrapped up in conversation and comfort.

Sometimes I think... if it feels this good to be hugged by you, then I can't wait to be wrapped up in God's arms... ;o) When I'm not thinking that, I'm appreciating the simple joy of receiving warm and tingly hugs from the right people.

You know who you are... ;o) Those people who make my insides fly, or my dreams feel reachable, who tame my fears and comfort my soul just by wrapping their hearts around me. I love it when we're together.

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song I could sing
But I can try for your heart

Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? and where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing its always better when we're together

...
Yeah, look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments
Just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that theyll be gone
When the morning light sings
And brings new things
For tomorrow night you see
That theyll be gone too
Too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way
Into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression
I was somewhere in between
With only two
Just me and you
Not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be
We'll sit beneath the mango tree now

Its always better when we're together


[Jack Johnson - Better Together]