Monday, April 25, 2005

i want a...

I want a love I can see / That's the only kind that means a thing to me / Don't want a love you have to tell me about / That kind of lovin' I can sure do without

I want a love I can feel / That's the only kind of lovin' I think is real / Don't want to be goin' by somethin' I heard / 'Cause baby, action speaks louder than words

I want a love that is mine / In the rain or even in the sunshine / A love that will keep me warm when it's cold / The kind of lovin' that will never grow old

I want a love I can see / The kind of love that you could give to me / The kind of kisses to make me melt / The kind of lovin' that can really be felt

I really want a love / You gotta know / I really need your love / All I really want is your love / I really want your love / A love I can see...

*sniff*

Saturday, April 23, 2005

when 3 words collide


Right now:


ON: My bed

WEARING: Blue sleeveless top from Philippines. Dark grey & black pants. An assortment of silver jewelry and cool dangly earrings. A purple Wiggles bandaid on my right forefinger.

FEELING: Exhausted, satisfied, full of food (mostly of the oily variety) and extremely grateful.

LISTENING TO: "Kuch To Hua Hai" because it's sooo appropriate! (ahaha... kidding Amardeep - kidding!)

THINKING: *Wow* did we leave her house in an absolute pigsty - so sorry! AND: I am one of luckiest people in the world to know such strange, yet understanding, accepting, generous & HILARIOUS people.

WONDERING: What on earth it'll be like if Amardeep, Cobey & I moved in togeths. *AGH!*

NEEDING: A shower.

HOPING: That she hasn't had her head bitten off my extremely over-protective parents, that Cobes drove home without yelling at too many drivers, and that my two sisters have recovered after having jumped out of a plane today.

CAN'T WAIT FOR: Full body massage tomorrow.

Stream of thought: My hands smell like Murphy because my fingers were all in her fur when she was licking my toes in Cobey's living room. But that aside, let me just say that this is the most satisfied I've felt in AGES! (I was trying to find a more descriptive and articulate word, but the past twenty-four hours have already demanded all the wit and intelligence I can mustre).

In our final moments in the car, besides discussing the unique bond that friends have when they can burp & fart in front of each other, Cobey and I were discussing fundamental beliefs, dreams whether or not our differences will become an issue in the future. I often wonder how it is that the three of us could be from completely different universes, but find enough common ground to spend an entire 24 hours with each other without once feeling uncomfortable. =)

I feel so over the moon that I've been blessed with such a incomparable circle of friends that I feel somewhat obliged to post our adventures on my BLOG... hehehehe.

Having said that, let me just warn you (Reader) that since the three worlds collided at 8:47pm last night at the train station, the following things have taken place:

- The unending exchange of witty comments, personal jokes and pointless banter
- The purchasing of two thirds of the confectionary and chip aisle in Coles
- The excruciating experience of pain when wisdom teeth grow
- The cooking of an cheese and mushroom omelette at 10:30 in the evening, Friday night
- Immersion into three BabySitter Club books (hanging head in shame... NOT!)
- The finishing of the LARGE packet of Herb & Spice Kettle chips at 11:39pm (With the help of Amardeep's siblings... I think)
- Deep sleep and strange dreams, suddenly interrupted by unwanted phonecall at 8:00 in the morning. GRRRR!
- Reading 6 pages worth of International Finance text *cough* typing up of lecture notes and the commencement of Law readings (uh... makes us sound productive, but I think that happened within 1/2 an hour of our 24hour adventure...)
- Being dragged across wooden floorboards by frustrated house owner
- 2 hour badmington game in backyard, with drain pipe as halfway line
- The snobbing of strange boy at front door
- Deep but laughable conversations about where the 3 worlds will be in the future: a travelling doctor, a teacher/wife/mother, and a hot-shot corporate lawyer with her own international firm (the latter is not me... ;) Hahaha.)
- Late night strolling through the streets of Riverstone.
- The guilt-free consumption of the following assortment of edibles:
* Cheese & mushroom omelette
* Two plates of Indian food
* One quarter of a watermelon
* Two mandarins
* Two packet-mixes worth of pancakes
* The leftovers of a tub of Napoletan ice-cream
* A Terry's Orange Chocolate bar
* A Bueno bar
* One block of Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate
* One party-pack sized bag of Allen's snakes (ripped-off too - there weren't any GREEN ones!)
* An entire box of Jatz crackers with half a tub of Philadelphia cream cheese
* A jug of home-made banana milkshake
* One large packet of Crispy M&Ms
* One large packet of Peanut M&Ms
* Two gourmet pizzas
* One large Caesar salad
* Half a garlic bread roll
* An assortment of beverages...

Hahaha... We realised that we've known each other for four years now. Eeep. And when we met, we never thought that we'd be keeping in touch after highschool, let alone having childish sleepovers and feeling extremely immature after 2 decades of life. But here we are - 3 worlds colliding. And creating a lifetime full of unique adventures.

Can't wait til the next date guys! ;)

random #66

I just found out that the German word for jewelry is "schmuck."

Hahahaaahahahaha..... *sigh* Ok... do some work!

Thursday, April 21, 2005

news from Cobes... what the?!

Ok so it's early Thursday evening: planning Friday's sleepover... and then suddenly I'm told that Cookie Monster doesn't eat cookies all the time anymore.

Excuse me? Check out the sacrilige people - it's ridiculous. One of my 3 favourite Sesame Street characters has been violated. Next thing you know the Aloysuis Snuffleupagus and his baby sister Alice will be charged for being overweight.

Ha! I feel violated!

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/07/tv.cookie.lessmonster.ap/

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

caboodled

It's funny, because people think I'm one of those people who can really hack things without help. I don't know if it's something about the way I articulate myself in particular situations (mind you, if you met me at uni, you'd think I was the biggest bimbo ever enrolled), but apparently I give off an air of independence.

Hmm.. this is coming from evidence I "overheard" over the handbreak when a pal & I were having one of those late-at-night-in-the-car conversations about life-in-general.

I can sort of tell what he was on about, but I also know he's a bit confused.
I'm as dependent as dependent can possibly get. Sue me if you think it's a weakness - personally I think it's the paradox that makes me what I am.

Me...I'm a collection of everyone I've ever encountered. I become quite fascinated by the people I meet and leech the goodness that I find in them. I surround myself with people who I know will build me up somehow.

Why? Because it's in those people that I feel most at peace. Because it's in those people I can feel a bit of God.

The girl walking down the street who smiles at me. The guy interstate who sends me an analysis of life. The man who is a combination of wisdom and wit. The student who will forever be learning life's greater lessons. The woman who spends Sunday night taking care of forty teenagers when she's spent a lifetime bringing up her own. The parent who loves so tenderly and trusts so generously. The friend who always lets me walk in their front door. The one who calls me just to see how I am. The musician who devotes their talents to the glory of the God who gave it to them. The sister that tries to understand. The boy sitting at the bench exchanging friendly banter.

You are my peace, you are my smiles, you are my happiness, you are my sources of love, and you are my identity all unrolled into a gazillion different pieces.

Me? Independent? Hardly. Part of my is most likely from you...

Friday, April 15, 2005

random #57

New word on my "Favourite-Word" List: smorgasbord.

Go figure. It's 2:30am! Buhahaha...

Thursday, April 14, 2005

getting into you

When I made up my mind/And my heart along with that/To live not for myself/But yet for God, Somebody said / "do you know what you are getting yourself into? "

When I finally ironed out/All of my priorities/And asked God to remove the doubt/
That makes me so unsure of these/Things I ask myself, I ask myself/ "do you know what you are getting yourself into? "

I'm getting into you/Because you got to me/In a way words can't describe/I'm getting into you/Because I've got to be/You're essential to survive/I'm going to love you with my life/

When he looked at me and said/"I kind of view you as a son"/And for a second our eyes met/And I met that with a question/"Do you know what you are getting yourself into? "

I'm getting into you/Because you got to me/In a way words can't describe/I'm getting into you/Because I've got to be/You're essential to survive/I'm going to love you with my life/

I've been a liar and I'll never amount to/The kind of person You deserve to worship you/You say you will not dwell on what I did but rather what I do/You say
"i love you and that's what you are getting yourself into"

I'm getting into you (getting into you)/ Because you got to me (because you got to me)/ In a way words can't describe /I'm getting into you (getting into you)/ Because I've got to be (because I've got to be) / You're essential to survive / I'm going to love you with my life

You said "I love you and that's what you're getting into.."

****
I like clever writers. People who can simplify life's greater, more complex issues and wrap it up in a neat little package called a song. =)

It's a beautiful day today. There's so much that could possible get a person down, but the thing is - I want to look at the brighter side of life.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

a troubled vent

troubled: (adj.) 1. characterized by or indicative of distress or affliction or danger or need.
2. characterized by unrest or disorder or insubordination
3. me.

Sitting on my bed in Eeyore pyjama shorts and brown singlet. Wearing favourite (silver) bracelets - one is a gift from India and the other I got from one of oldest friends on my 18th birthday.
I'm a combination of emotional retardation and overload. Again - I'm a walking contradiction.
I've been emotionally exhausted for what feels like forever (which just goes to show how drastic the symptoms are) - but don't let this whinging introduction let you think that's all I'm feeling. I'm up and down and all over the place, and wondering if I'll ever get started on my project proposal and the other gazillion assignments on my "To Do" List.

I just looked at the title of this BLOG and wondered what a troubled vent would be like. A "vent"... can be a number of things; a means of escape or release from confinement; an outlet; an opening permitting the escape of fumes, a liquid, a gas, or steam; the small hole at the breech of a gun through which the charge is ignited; the excretory opening of the digestive tract in animals such as birds, reptiles, amphibians, and fish; or (if taken in a geological context), an opening on the ocean floor that emits hot water and dissolved minerals.

Going on the general understanding of the term, I'd assume that a troubled vent would be unable to emit what it's meant to.

Funnily enough, I feel like a troubled vent. Hahaha... unable to let the frustration, the hurt, the annoyance, and/or the anger escape.

AGHHH!!!

Saturday, April 09, 2005

sweat, singlets and aufschieben...

Hahaha... once again - a night full of productive procrastination.
Blog-surfing again: everyone's into this online journal business.

It's been an emotional week, which is probably why I haven't written much, because it's never safe to use words when one is emotional. I'm not really good at articulating myself when I'm confused, frustrated, angry, happy and satisfied all at once.

Meanwhile, I've done EVERYTHING to get away from doing my readings - and I know I'll thoroughly regret it tomz when I realise how much I'll need to cram (I'm a bad example, I know). But I just thought I'd pop and say gday to the people who are floating in and out of my thoughts tonight:

- Amardeep: Are you enjoying the read? Hehehe... nothing huge has been happening, only I'm tempted to turn on the rest of those Bollywood movies - but I've told myself I'm not allowed. Did I ever end up telling you about the cool guy I met on the bus the day after I finished watching Kal Ho Naa Ho? *sigh* that's a godwink if there ever was one!

- Aron: Hey thanks for the check-ups. Not that I've been sticking to the work... but I appreciate the support. And thanks for Thursday night too! Ah... go the coffee at Gloria Jeans... which leads me to:

- Colloes, Luke & Aron: Thanks for the Gloria Jeans trip on Thurs. That ended hilariosly - well done on the run Luke! I'm telling you someone's gotta open up a nice, classy coffee joint in our district just so we don't have to end conversations because the shops close at 9:30pm. That was nice though... a precious moment for sure. The talking, the venting, the laughing, the pointlessness.

- Dacs: You legend. Totally inspiring me to get my bike fixed. I need a helmet though.

- Ray: ALIVE: A Living Example. You're talk today rocked, and also stirred my heart in many ways. I'm really glad God spoke through you - declare war on things that push down and destroy human dignity. Go for gold mate... I'm stoked.

- Jonna: You're amazing. How many assignments have you finished?! Hey and thanks for those words of affirmation at the Centre the other day. I really needed that - this week has been topsy-turvy for everyone. *sigh* I hope the choc-caramel brownies were a good energy-rush for people.

Hey so I've been reading this book: it' called "When God Winks on Love". I don't know if I agree with it - it's kind of overly romantic, and I'm a bit of a realist, despite my hefty ideals and crazy projects. I guess to put it bluntly, I'm being a bit of a cynic in terms of the world's fanciful notions on "love".

I know - what a contradicting statement to be making about someone who's so heavily in crush* mode - don't get me wrong, my head is in the clouds with this boy - but my head will forever be planted here on earth, and as far as what they depict in soap operas, top 40 hits and most books, the outlook ain't looking so bright. When will people realise??? Love is not about feelings.

*sigh* Wow do I have a headache.

Friday, April 08, 2005

random #42

Standing in a church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

when late nights turned into early mornings

Did you know Yellowcard did a cover of Michelle Branch's song "Everwhere"? Hahaha... what a brilliant combination.

On a totally different note/genre: I'm thinking/listening/feeling....

True
Ryan Cabrera

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me** [don't know about this line - I'm not into possesivenes! Hahaha...]

You might think I don't look
But deep inside the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm


I'm weak, it's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

....

You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

[Chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you** [I don't agree with this one either!]
All my life I've waited** [hyperbole?]
This is true

... ok I need some sleep. ;)

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

discovered treasure**??

While clearing out my CD shelf I stumbled upon a CD with 4 tracks. And in the sleeve I discovered something else - lyrics to a song written and composed in 2003.
My dream? Can someone perform this for REVELATION?!


PEACE
Lyrics by Joy E. & Music by Peter Mulas


There are moments when I am helpless
I try to see but I feel blind
Lord, I’m struggling through this test
And my faith keeps falling behind

But now I’m reaching for You
With the hope that this yearning will start
A search to help me find the faith
To ease the war inside my heart

(Oh) To reach You
And to find my place
‘Coz everything I’ve ever needed, I see printed on Your face
I see it when I close my eyes
I hear it when I pray
And when I feel Your presence I know,
I’ll make it through, I’ll make it through today

My Lord, I didn’t see
That my sins pushed You down
You went to lift my cross again,
I left You on the ground

And I ran on empty,
Never knowing the simple truth
That You paid the price for me
My Salvation rests in You

But You know
That I want to find my place
And everything I’ve ever needed, I see printed on Your face
I see it when I close my eyes
I hear it when I pray
And when I’m in Your presence I know
I’ve made it through, I’ve made it through… today…

Instrumental…

Acoustic guitar only:
The only thing my heart desires is to find my place
And I know I’ll find my peace, when I’ll see Him face to face
I see Him when I close my eyes
I hear Him when I pray
And when I’m in His presence, I know
I’ll make it through, I’ve made it through... anyday

The Last Day of Summer

As far as I’m concerned, despite the date, Sunday 3rd April was the last day of Summer. It was a scorching hot day, with a multitude of blessings too – a perfect finale for my favourite season – because I got to do all my favourite things.

1. Woke up and got ready to serve straight away! Spent the first few hours of my day in God’s most beautiful presence, surrounded with beautiful people, dedicated hearts and one of God’s truly thoughtful & clever creations: music.

2. A yummy breakfast with good company. Kudos to the YFCers who served at the 8:45am Mass, and thanks for always giving me something to look forward to every first Sunday of the month. A fatty breakfast, McDonald’s coffee and those small portions of American brownies would never be the same if you guys weren’t there to add conversations.

3. Sleep. I got home and drifted in and out of subconsciousness until I felt the sun tanning my arms through my bedroom window.

4. Discovering treasure. I went through all my old CDs and picked the ones I’m keeping in the SPY office for all those afternoons I’m there and don’t have anything to listen to. So many old tracks and forgotten ballads… *sigh* and it got me all excited for the concert!

5. Driving in the sun & hanging with the best of the best… GK Market Day at the MPC (a block of land I’m sure YFC should turn into a GK site, since its looked the same for a good ten years. Give the MVs one week to turn that place into an awesome village… hahaha… or at least MOW THE GRASS!) Rice & fish, bought myself a funky black GK777 hat and enjoyed some laughs with the Titos, Titas and some Westies.

6. Precious moment: Wendy’s Ice-Cream following a short search for the perfect bottle of contact solution (and I thought I was picky). Cookies, soft serve and a Mega-Choc-Shake *drooling* This afternoon gave me heart-warming insight as to why I love my mates so much, and what August is going to be like (hot days in Europe… WOOHOO!!!) Driving with the windows rolled down and the wind blowing on my face and my GK777 hat faithfully keeping my hair in place… priceless.

7. Hanging with the young at heart… God really does work in young people. I hope my loyalties to the SPYers will never be compromised – you guys are simply amazing. There is a lot of love, energy, enthusiasm and joy in all of them. The way they laugh (at or with, it really doesn’t matter), play, sing, serve and love each other… *sigh* I have the best job in the world!

8. Late night learning… thank God for the Holy Spirit. Without it, I’d be stuffed and so would my degree. ;o) I totally endorse encouraging SMSes – especially to uni students on the verge of giving up. And if you’ve never prayed with a friend over the phone, don’t underestimate its power. (You know what I’m talking about!!)

Ah yes… the last day of Summer. Now it’s back to the whip-cracking reality of university (which I’m supposed to be into right now, but it’s 2am and I can’t sleep OR do my ICOM readings).

I’ll leave you with a conversation that sums up the laughs and light-hearted happiness that came with Sunday’s weather & order of adventures:

Walking towards the exit of the shopping centre:
Joy: Is it me or did it just get really cold in here?
Simultaneously
Nez: It’s cold in here.
Eddoes: It’s you.
Joy: Hmm… thanks guys. Is this what Europe’s going to be like?
Simultaneously
Nez: Nah…
Eddoes: Probably.
Joy: *sigh*