Thursday, March 31, 2005
liebesfrust**
sick/tummy hurting/desperate for hot water bottle/denial/daydreaming/waste of day/wishing i had the guts to make the phone call/busy people/traffic jam of thoughts/love song dedications/beautiful souls/squidgy is my new favourite word/it's up there with "gibberish" and "kerfuffle"/wit/john mayer/jack johnson/dashboard confessional/reliant k/my finger got electrecuted/disguised love songs behind mumbles/late night driving/cuddles/well played acoustic guitar/concert jumble/stephen speaks/really nice piano/out of my league/yup you are seriously out of my league/the smiling and the butterflies and the making me laugh at nothing funny/i wonder what it's like to talk to carpet/lots of tears/talking nasal for a good 1.5 hours/one hour worship with my awful guitar skills/need to cut my nails/voices/they frustrate me/why i bother listening i don't know/falling falling falling/wish someone would understand where i'm coming from/thoughtful/stripes/notebooks/fine-tip Pilot pens/thoughtless/words/digital masterpiece/too much in my head/where are you/wish you'd pass by just for the sake of it/surprise me one day/wild at heart/daydream believer/laughing laughing laughing/chocolate fudge cake with extra choc-chips and vanilla ice-cream/jumbling tower/steady hands/dares/seconds/tickling/reality/digging up graves/do you know me/searching for something real/wanting something that lasts/it's not about being ready/it's about.../choosing/let go/pray/surrender/heaven/flying/clouds/happiness/peace/ssshhhhhh.....
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
i am...
Wearing a pink singlet and brown tracksuit pants.
Darker than everyone in my family.
Chewing gum.
Sitting at my desk in front of my laptop with a headache.
Admiring a photo of two friends when we were in the car.
Pondering about the past and dreaming about the future.
Noticing the tantalising aroma of fried herbs & spices as they are starting to creep under my bedroom door.
Wondering if I'll ever get started on my homework.
Overjoyed that we've got awesome performances lined up for REVELATION.
Wondering who you are and why you're reading this.
Feeling angst and peace at the some time.
A contradiction.
A complication.
An idealist.
Strong-willed.
Stubborn.
Talkative.
Loud.
Aggressive.
Passionate.
Determined.
Excited.
Happy!
Darker than everyone in my family.
Chewing gum.
Sitting at my desk in front of my laptop with a headache.
Admiring a photo of two friends when we were in the car.
Pondering about the past and dreaming about the future.
Noticing the tantalising aroma of fried herbs & spices as they are starting to creep under my bedroom door.
Wondering if I'll ever get started on my homework.
Overjoyed that we've got awesome performances lined up for REVELATION.
Wondering who you are and why you're reading this.
Feeling angst and peace at the some time.
A contradiction.
A complication.
An idealist.
Strong-willed.
Stubborn.
Talkative.
Loud.
Aggressive.
Passionate.
Determined.
Excited.
Happy!
Future Career Goals: Professional Procrastinator
Whoa... EXTRA gum is really strong sometimes. I think it totally cleansed my nasal passage... Eeep!
So - Tuesday night. I should be working on my Multimedia Assignment. It's amazing that I always feel so behind at uni - no matter how much work I find myself engrossed in throughout the semester.
Hey but I met another friend today at the bus stop. Won't mention his name, but he sure is a cool bloke - what a Godsend! We really clicked. We spent the whole trip to uni just talking. And can you believe it?! He watches Bollywood films. Hahaha! What a coinkidink!* And he's an idealist too. *sigh* Praise God that there are still some good men in the world...
I had hotdogs for dinner tonight, because no one could be bothered cooking. And there I was, thinking "Score! I can get some work done!" but here I am, blogging.
And blog-surfing.
Did I mention my fetish for blog-surfing? It's like the Internet version of reality TV. You can learn a lot from people's blogs. Their thoughts, their ideas, their pains and dreams and all that jazz.
Me? I just like a good read. And I'm hopeless at sitting down and finishing a book. Right now I'm at my desk, and I have about four unfinished books propped up against my lamp because every time I get started on one, someone disturbs me and I don't finish it. But nothing beats the satisfaction of finishing a well-written book.
...
Oh my gosh. I can't believe I even procrastinate at finishing books.
BLARGHH!!!
So - Tuesday night. I should be working on my Multimedia Assignment. It's amazing that I always feel so behind at uni - no matter how much work I find myself engrossed in throughout the semester.
Hey but I met another friend today at the bus stop. Won't mention his name, but he sure is a cool bloke - what a Godsend! We really clicked. We spent the whole trip to uni just talking. And can you believe it?! He watches Bollywood films. Hahaha! What a coinkidink!* And he's an idealist too. *sigh* Praise God that there are still some good men in the world...
I had hotdogs for dinner tonight, because no one could be bothered cooking. And there I was, thinking "Score! I can get some work done!" but here I am, blogging.
And blog-surfing.
Did I mention my fetish for blog-surfing? It's like the Internet version of reality TV. You can learn a lot from people's blogs. Their thoughts, their ideas, their pains and dreams and all that jazz.
Me? I just like a good read. And I'm hopeless at sitting down and finishing a book. Right now I'm at my desk, and I have about four unfinished books propped up against my lamp because every time I get started on one, someone disturbs me and I don't finish it. But nothing beats the satisfaction of finishing a well-written book.
...
Oh my gosh. I can't believe I even procrastinate at finishing books.
BLARGHH!!!
Monday, March 28, 2005
thinkin...
"We do your laundry, cook your food and serve you dinner. We guard you while you sleep, We drive your ambulances" - [Tyler Durden, Fight Club]
It is apparent that there are many people who drive society. Society is not unchangeable, but it is always the engine of those who drive it.
Do not think that your vote does not count.
Do not think your life will not be missed.
The power of an individual is not to be underestimated.
Being a minority does not eliminate you.
Know what your capable of.
Know your limits.
Test them regularly.
Do not break yourself in the process.
[This quote is c/o one of the guys in my Multimedia 308 Class. Well done Decker!]
It is apparent that there are many people who drive society. Society is not unchangeable, but it is always the engine of those who drive it.
Do not think that your vote does not count.
Do not think your life will not be missed.
The power of an individual is not to be underestimated.
Being a minority does not eliminate you.
Know what your capable of.
Know your limits.
Test them regularly.
Do not break yourself in the process.
[This quote is c/o one of the guys in my Multimedia 308 Class. Well done Decker!]
Sunday, March 27, 2005
fearful and overjoyed
I used to wonder how it might’ve felt for the two women who found Jesus’ tomb empty. The shock, the uncertainty, the fear… and of course—the overwhelming joy. What had been two days of hopelessness was transformed into a lifetime of new possibilities.
Could it be true? That the man whom they watched crucified on Friday could conquer death on Sunday?
We too are challenged to believe in miracles. And often due to our past hurts, our cynicism and our stubborn disbelief we refuse to be hopeful.
Imagine what would’ve happened if the two Marys hadn’t believed the angel who pronounced that Jesus had risen? If they told the angel to stop kidding around? What if they decided that instead of believing, they were gonna stay still and cry?
In Matthews Gospel these women teach us a valuable lesson about spreading our faith. Instead of doubting (something many of us are prone to doing!), they “went away quickly from the tomb, fearful yet overjoyed” [Matt 28:8]. They understood the urgency of their task, and went to do it—despite their fears. Yep, it was a crazy message—that Jesus is raised from the dead– can you blame them for being scared?
But the truth behind the message conquered the fear, and they left the tomb to proclaim the news—quickly, and with joy.
How many of us embrace the privilege of being called to spread the news? Do we hurry to do it, despite the fear and rejection we might face?
These amazing women did, “And behold, Jesus met them on their way.” [28:9]. What better way to meet Jesus face to face, than to be in the midst of doing His work?!
To all the young people, we are called not only to believe in miracles, but to be part of them. Let’s embrace this privilege, and jump to it! Quickly—and WITH JOY!
** REVELATION CONCERT - May 28th, $10/ticket.
Ask for details =)
Could it be true? That the man whom they watched crucified on Friday could conquer death on Sunday?
We too are challenged to believe in miracles. And often due to our past hurts, our cynicism and our stubborn disbelief we refuse to be hopeful.
Imagine what would’ve happened if the two Marys hadn’t believed the angel who pronounced that Jesus had risen? If they told the angel to stop kidding around? What if they decided that instead of believing, they were gonna stay still and cry?
In Matthews Gospel these women teach us a valuable lesson about spreading our faith. Instead of doubting (something many of us are prone to doing!), they “went away quickly from the tomb, fearful yet overjoyed” [Matt 28:8]. They understood the urgency of their task, and went to do it—despite their fears. Yep, it was a crazy message—that Jesus is raised from the dead– can you blame them for being scared?
But the truth behind the message conquered the fear, and they left the tomb to proclaim the news—quickly, and with joy.
How many of us embrace the privilege of being called to spread the news? Do we hurry to do it, despite the fear and rejection we might face?
These amazing women did, “And behold, Jesus met them on their way.” [28:9]. What better way to meet Jesus face to face, than to be in the midst of doing His work?!
To all the young people, we are called not only to believe in miracles, but to be part of them. Let’s embrace this privilege, and jump to it! Quickly—and WITH JOY!
** REVELATION CONCERT - May 28th, $10/ticket.
Ask for details =)
Saturday, March 19, 2005
episode #24
I've found the cure of potential envy, for anyone else who might be feeling slightly lonesome after missing out on a weekend camping next to the beach with good friends due to an uninvited pandemic that struck your household.
#1. Spend at least 2hours on the phone chatting about nothing and everything to someone who may very well be in a similar situation.
#2. Watch half a season of a popular teenage soap opera. It leaves you feeling giddy and thirsty for more. =)
Hmm... I never thought I'd encourage people to be watching pop teen soaps (and in all honesty, I'm not condoning them at all) but I must admit that pampering my skin with Melon & Cucumber body lotion, painting my toe-nails my favourite colour, straightening my hair and escaping into ten episodes of fantasy life has been nothing short of paradise for what could have been a weekend catching pneumonia.
The only trouble is, soap operas are formulated to equal a good waste of time.
Very entertaining though. Six hours of lying in bed... watching teenagers screw up their lives. At least geeks make me laugh...
"Turns out that I'm quite skilled at getting a date, provided it's not for me."
- Seth, alone
"They can put a man on the moon, correct? And they can't serve an Egg McMuffin past 10.30am? Can't figure it out. Doesn't make sense!"
- Seth, in old Jewish man mode, "The Links"
And finally... a timeless favourite. =)
"Speaking from recent experience, the triangle is not a friendly shape. It's got points, it has sharp edges ... triangles hurt people..."
- Seth advises Ryan in the ways of the triangle, "The Telenovela"
#1. Spend at least 2hours on the phone chatting about nothing and everything to someone who may very well be in a similar situation.
#2. Watch half a season of a popular teenage soap opera. It leaves you feeling giddy and thirsty for more. =)
Hmm... I never thought I'd encourage people to be watching pop teen soaps (and in all honesty, I'm not condoning them at all) but I must admit that pampering my skin with Melon & Cucumber body lotion, painting my toe-nails my favourite colour, straightening my hair and escaping into ten episodes of fantasy life has been nothing short of paradise for what could have been a weekend catching pneumonia.
The only trouble is, soap operas are formulated to equal a good waste of time.
Very entertaining though. Six hours of lying in bed... watching teenagers screw up their lives. At least geeks make me laugh...
"Turns out that I'm quite skilled at getting a date, provided it's not for me."
- Seth, alone
"They can put a man on the moon, correct? And they can't serve an Egg McMuffin past 10.30am? Can't figure it out. Doesn't make sense!"
- Seth, in old Jewish man mode, "The Links"
And finally... a timeless favourite. =)
"Speaking from recent experience, the triangle is not a friendly shape. It's got points, it has sharp edges ... triangles hurt people..."
- Seth advises Ryan in the ways of the triangle, "The Telenovela"
Monday, March 14, 2005
the waiting game
I hate waiting. It's just something I'm not particularly good at.
And I discovered more of that fatal flaw today, waiting for the bus on the way to uni.I get a bit restless, sitting there on the wooden benches, with nothing to do. I have a thing against staring into the distance, thinking that the more intently one stares, the faster the bus will come. So I usually read to kill the time.
Now reading is hardly classified as risk-taking behaviour, but when one is waiting for a bus and has her head buried in a book when the bus turns the corner, one does risk missing the bus. Or... the bus missing her.
And that was the complexity I pondered on this morning, while contently travelling down the M2, 4 hours early for uni (because I'm really about 17hours behind on readings)...
But you all know what I mean, don't you? That feeling of anticipation... while you wait for something. I hate that feeling... that I'm going to miss it... or (really) that it* (*cough*) is going to miss me... A friend told me over the weekend that I take too much on. And I often battle with the fear that I'm spreading myself out too thinly... But it's not because I want to prove myself (although I'm sure at one point in my life, it was) - it's simply because I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. So it's like I'm waiting at the bus-stop, and I've pulled out a gazillion things to read/do, really because I'm just killing time, waiting for "MY PURPOSE" to turn the corner and hit me in the face. =)
And I discovered more of that fatal flaw today, waiting for the bus on the way to uni.I get a bit restless, sitting there on the wooden benches, with nothing to do. I have a thing against staring into the distance, thinking that the more intently one stares, the faster the bus will come. So I usually read to kill the time.
Now reading is hardly classified as risk-taking behaviour, but when one is waiting for a bus and has her head buried in a book when the bus turns the corner, one does risk missing the bus. Or... the bus missing her.
And that was the complexity I pondered on this morning, while contently travelling down the M2, 4 hours early for uni (because I'm really about 17hours behind on readings)...
But you all know what I mean, don't you? That feeling of anticipation... while you wait for something. I hate that feeling... that I'm going to miss it... or (really) that it* (*cough*) is going to miss me... A friend told me over the weekend that I take too much on. And I often battle with the fear that I'm spreading myself out too thinly... But it's not because I want to prove myself (although I'm sure at one point in my life, it was) - it's simply because I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. So it's like I'm waiting at the bus-stop, and I've pulled out a gazillion things to read/do, really because I'm just killing time, waiting for "MY PURPOSE" to turn the corner and hit me in the face. =)
Saturday, March 12, 2005
cloud 9
I seriously shouldn't be blogging, but I can't help myself. It's Saturday night, and my head is flooded with a gazillion thoughts about Europe, and the possibility of going their with two of my best mates, the possibility of seeing some of the most beautiful places in the world! Man... I seriously can't wait!! =)
My head is in the clouds and I've got SugarCult pumping out of the speakers. On a completely different note, I think it's time I get glasses. I'm almost definitely sure that it isn't the boredom of my uni notes that gives me a headache whenever I try to read... ;)
Meanwhile, isn't it weird how song writers (from rock & emo bands especially) feel like they can invent words? One day I'll invent a word - just for the sake of it.
So tell me what "permanate" means? Or did the lead singer of Switchfoot mean to sing "permanent" because that's the appropriate word?
For those who don't have a clue what I'm on about, here's an excerpt from the song that's got me thinking at the moment. ;)
Switchfoot - "Gone"
Today till soon be gone,
like yesterday is gone,
like history is gone,
the world keeps spinning on,
your going going gone,
like summer break is gone,
like saturday is gone
just trying to prove me wrong
you pretend like your immortal your immortal
we are not infinite
we are not permanent*
nothing is immediate
we're so confident
in our accomplishments
look at how dark it is
gone, like Frank Sinatra
like Elvis and his mom
like AL Pichino's cash nothing lasts in this life
my highschool dreams are gone
my childhood sweets are gone
life is a day that doesn't last for long
life is more than money
time was never money
time was never cash,
life is still more than girls
life is more than hundred dollar bills
and oh the town fills
life more than fame and rock and roll and thrills
all the riches of the kings
and up in wills we got information in the information age
but do we know what life is
outside of our conveinent Lexus cages
she said he said live like no tomorrow
every moment that we borrow
brings us closer to the God who's not short of cash
hey Bono i'm glad you asked
life is still worth living, life is still worth living
My head is in the clouds and I've got SugarCult pumping out of the speakers. On a completely different note, I think it's time I get glasses. I'm almost definitely sure that it isn't the boredom of my uni notes that gives me a headache whenever I try to read... ;)
Meanwhile, isn't it weird how song writers (from rock & emo bands especially) feel like they can invent words? One day I'll invent a word - just for the sake of it.
So tell me what "permanate" means? Or did the lead singer of Switchfoot mean to sing "permanent" because that's the appropriate word?
For those who don't have a clue what I'm on about, here's an excerpt from the song that's got me thinking at the moment. ;)
Switchfoot - "Gone"
Today till soon be gone,
like yesterday is gone,
like history is gone,
the world keeps spinning on,
your going going gone,
like summer break is gone,
like saturday is gone
just trying to prove me wrong
you pretend like your immortal your immortal
we are not infinite
we are not permanent*
nothing is immediate
we're so confident
in our accomplishments
look at how dark it is
gone, like Frank Sinatra
like Elvis and his mom
like AL Pichino's cash nothing lasts in this life
my highschool dreams are gone
my childhood sweets are gone
life is a day that doesn't last for long
life is more than money
time was never money
time was never cash,
life is still more than girls
life is more than hundred dollar bills
and oh the town fills
life more than fame and rock and roll and thrills
all the riches of the kings
and up in wills we got information in the information age
but do we know what life is
outside of our conveinent Lexus cages
she said he said live like no tomorrow
every moment that we borrow
brings us closer to the God who's not short of cash
hey Bono i'm glad you asked
life is still worth living, life is still worth living
Friday, March 11, 2005
For the brave struggling in battle...
Not everyone will understand your passion or your dream. But it is those knock-backs that remind us of the privilege of being chosen to be a soldier.
Being in the frontline is not dependent on skills as a soldier, but on the courage to hold the line. If one soldier in the frontline loses courage and breaks, then the rest of the line will falter, and the rest of ARMY will no longer have defence.
Those who are chosen to serve in the frontline are the soldiers who are not afraid to be shot at. They are the soldiers who edge forward, who run TOWARDS the enemy.
Bystanders will think you are crazy. Those who aren't as courageous will try to instill fear and rationality. But faith is not about rationality.
Dream big. Think crazy.
We are serving a God of the impossible.
=)
Being in the frontline is not dependent on skills as a soldier, but on the courage to hold the line. If one soldier in the frontline loses courage and breaks, then the rest of the line will falter, and the rest of ARMY will no longer have defence.
Those who are chosen to serve in the frontline are the soldiers who are not afraid to be shot at. They are the soldiers who edge forward, who run TOWARDS the enemy.
Bystanders will think you are crazy. Those who aren't as courageous will try to instill fear and rationality. But faith is not about rationality.
Dream big. Think crazy.
We are serving a God of the impossible.
=)
Monday, March 07, 2005
currently...
...Thinking about my first experience of a 3rd Yr uni lecture & tutorial - Public Relations 390 - the art of invisible manipulation & spinning the truth to affect public opinion.
...Listening to "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional.
...Missing my laptop because I want to change the music in my mp3 player.
...Loving God sooo much because the past week has been full of blessings.
Having said that - here's a GOLDEN LIST of blessings that God's given me to be JOYful about!
1. I had German tonight, and my German buddies Rebecca & Thomas are cool. I told Thomas we should meet up in Germany in August and send pics to Rebecca, who'll be in Adelaide. Hehehe...
2. My mum made sinigang! Wooohooo... and I have a brother-in-law who makes really good strawberry cheesecake FROM SCRATCH (beat THAT potential boyfriend!)
3. Passport photos in the Food Court today... (Suarez those are staying in my wallet for the sake of a good laugh!)
4. What a BEAUTIFUL day!!! Seriously - Autumn has its benefits. Not too hot, but beautiful blue skies...
5. Uni. The privilege of an education. Corny, I know, but still true.
6. Lots of smiles today. =)
7. Mass singing & the traditional Maccas breakfast yesterday. One of my best mates agreeing to fix my very "sick" (virused) laptop. *sniff*
8. So much fun at the Campus Based camp on Saturday! Being able to share part of my story, serving with good friends, and the basketball game with Ian, Caresse, Lenlen & some of the SFC chixtas & boyz.
9. God blessed with me with the best friends in the world! That's no exaggeration. For all the people who I've encountered during this lifetime, you are priceless & a complete blessing through and through...
10. My birthday celebrations seem to have lasted the whole week! Hahaha... and by CELEBRATION, I mean it! Switchfoot concert on Tuesday (not to mention the cupcake with 20candles on it. Oh you people are BEAUTIFUL), lunch @ Hyde Park with the boys on Wednesday, warm hugs & surprise cake @ household on Wednesday, buffet dinns on Thurs (hey nice shirt Edwin! *wink! buhahahaha*), 50 youth singing "Happy Birthday" at the FFD on Friday, PEACE & ENJOYMENT @ the camp visit on Saturday, and presents on Sunday... WOW. Hahaha.. talk about spoilt!
And now... 15minutes after the beginning of this entry, let's do a rehash of "CURRENTLY..."
...Listening to the baseline of "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys & Usher pump through the bedroom walls (because it's playing on my stereo, and I'm not in my room) ah... wireless internet. Praise God! Hahaha...
...Waiting for that track to finish so I can listen to "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney OR "Train On A Track" by Kelly Rowland.
...Wearing a pink T-shirt & black shorts.
...Wishing I could type something in German, but I'm still trying to learn it.
...Needing a drink of water.
...Needing to brush my teeth.
...Wondering what God has in store for me tomorrow.
...Thinking it's 47minutes past my bed-time!
...Listening to "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional.
...Missing my laptop because I want to change the music in my mp3 player.
...Loving God sooo much because the past week has been full of blessings.
Having said that - here's a GOLDEN LIST of blessings that God's given me to be JOYful about!
1. I had German tonight, and my German buddies Rebecca & Thomas are cool. I told Thomas we should meet up in Germany in August and send pics to Rebecca, who'll be in Adelaide. Hehehe...
2. My mum made sinigang! Wooohooo... and I have a brother-in-law who makes really good strawberry cheesecake FROM SCRATCH (beat THAT potential boyfriend!)
3. Passport photos in the Food Court today... (Suarez those are staying in my wallet for the sake of a good laugh!)
4. What a BEAUTIFUL day!!! Seriously - Autumn has its benefits. Not too hot, but beautiful blue skies...
5. Uni. The privilege of an education. Corny, I know, but still true.
6. Lots of smiles today. =)
7. Mass singing & the traditional Maccas breakfast yesterday. One of my best mates agreeing to fix my very "sick" (virused) laptop. *sniff*
8. So much fun at the Campus Based camp on Saturday! Being able to share part of my story, serving with good friends, and the basketball game with Ian, Caresse, Lenlen & some of the SFC chixtas & boyz.
9. God blessed with me with the best friends in the world! That's no exaggeration. For all the people who I've encountered during this lifetime, you are priceless & a complete blessing through and through...
10. My birthday celebrations seem to have lasted the whole week! Hahaha... and by CELEBRATION, I mean it! Switchfoot concert on Tuesday (not to mention the cupcake with 20candles on it. Oh you people are BEAUTIFUL), lunch @ Hyde Park with the boys on Wednesday, warm hugs & surprise cake @ household on Wednesday, buffet dinns on Thurs (hey nice shirt Edwin! *wink! buhahahaha*), 50 youth singing "Happy Birthday" at the FFD on Friday, PEACE & ENJOYMENT @ the camp visit on Saturday, and presents on Sunday... WOW. Hahaha.. talk about spoilt!
And now... 15minutes after the beginning of this entry, let's do a rehash of "CURRENTLY..."
...Listening to the baseline of "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys & Usher pump through the bedroom walls (because it's playing on my stereo, and I'm not in my room) ah... wireless internet. Praise God! Hahaha...
...Waiting for that track to finish so I can listen to "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney OR "Train On A Track" by Kelly Rowland.
...Wearing a pink T-shirt & black shorts.
...Wishing I could type something in German, but I'm still trying to learn it.
...Needing a drink of water.
...Needing to brush my teeth.
...Wondering what God has in store for me tomorrow.
...Thinking it's 47minutes past my bed-time!
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