***TO BLOG: (if the page ever loads...)

Things I forgot about Phils that I should've warned the team about before coming:

1. Despite being metro manila, the pace is a lot slower than in Sydney. People can take days off work if there is a storm, and you could end up waiting half an hour to flag down a taxi.

2. Beware of the powerlines - there's a lot of them.

3. You can get lost in Mega Mall.

4. Speak English slowly.

5. Never put anything solid down a public toilet (that includes number 2s and toilet paper) because they never flush completely.

6. Always carry tissues, or anti-bacterial wet-wipes everywhere you go.

7. Apply and reapply insect repellent whenever you get a chance. (I got about eight bites on each leg during my shower today... what a rort).


Hmm... I'm sure there are way more that I was thinking of when I was walking through the streets of manila yesterday taking photos of typhoon damage.
Aha! Yes - I survived my first typhoon. My next problem will probably be mosquitoes.. who love me (or hate me, I can't really tell - whatever it is, they love biting me).
Two more days until we hit the GK sites! Man I'm excited! I'm not particularly excited about flight home (it gets lonely).

Anyway.. let's publish this so I'm not late to meet my cousin at Mega Mall... yay - lunch date.

chuckin a sicky

Hey so I haven't even been on this job for a month and I'm already taking time off. But the Chief says it's ok - I've got enough time in lieu so I deserve some rest time. I hate congestion.
Let's just hope tomorrow's filming day and WYDSAC meeting doesn't kill me, and that I make it to my graduation looking like a princess on Thursday morning. Pfft! Yeah right!

In summary, here's what life has presented me over the past couple of days:

- Penitito back for week! Yay... we picked him up and did (a ridiculously late!) lunch at Parra with him, Aron and Luke last Thursday. Also did coffee on Monday (hoping he joins team!)
- Joy got a new toy! Hehehe... my little silver beast of a Corolla is parked outside my house. The faithful little thing did 400km in one weekend... what a trooper!
- Met some really cool WYD Reps from Ryde/North Sydney on Friday... aww.. that was really inspiring! Esp Fr Danny from Gladesville - cool mate!
- Fundraising Ball on Saturday night where Cossima Devito sung her little heart out and Vincent, Vicky, Jo, Jennifer, Pandora, Tom and I danced our little hearts out to the jazz band. Oh.. did I tell you I ate Indian food? (Ask Amardeep and Cobes - that's quite an achievement for me!)
- Massage at Broadway on Sunday. Yumm... well.. yes and no. It was good I also realised my back has gotten worse and worse over the last year or so. Uh-oh... time to start swimming more often.
- Watsons Bay. I shocked Eddoes when I said I was too tired to walk around and look for ice-cream (it doesn't happen that often).
- Youth Mass @ Randwick. Tristan has an awesome band.. they sound HOT! Percussion, harmonies, guitarists and a beautiful pianist... awww...
- Chocolate-Chai latte during the drive home! Hmmm....
- Monday-itis big time. I was officially dead yesterday.
- Tuesday-itis. Woke up several times last night panicking because I thought I couldn't move. Haha... what a hypocondriac. But man, I paid a visit to what seemed like the dodgiest doctor today. Then when I got to the pharmacy I realised being sick SUCKS big time because it's so damn expensive.
- Sleep, sleep and more sleep... yet I managed to find myself in the office tonight answering emails and typing up a report for tomorrow... eww. Man I'm such an idiot.

Time for bed!

+

just lay entwined here...

God bless free evenings. It's a rarity, which is why I feel as though they're gold. Vincent was about to get me to accompany him to a sub-committee meeting today... and as much as I love my job, I'm so desperately glad that he didn't.

What a week. (I'm referring to the last seven days of course, because it is, after all, Monday).

Currently listening to: Mariah Carey's Always Be My Baby track. Always brings back feelings of Spring-time and high school.

Anyhoo. So you'll be pleased to know that things lightened up after last Monday's tearful venting spree on blogspot. Not to say things lightened completely... nor did they lighten up quickly. I wasn't operating at 100% for the entire week (ask Vincent, who had to deal with my not being so organised or energetic), and unfortunately probably won't be operating at 100% for at least a couple of days, because to top off an emotionally exhausting seven days, I managed to catch a nasty virus. Something to do with flu symptoms and some phlegm.

>>> So last Monday... involved a fair bit of time in the Chapel crying. No.. not crying... sobbing. Then I fell apart when I got to my bedroom and Sarah wandered in and offered her shoulder.. which actually made me cry even more. It was at that point I ripped open my massive block of Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate and started consuming my daily intake of two rows each day. Tarryn left that night too. Damn it - talk about being damaged with emotional overhaul.

>>> Eventually Tuesday rolled around and I almost fell asleep in class . Wednesday brought another set of uninteresting events to throw me off an already curvy course. Got called into a meeting in Homebush and felt somewhat abandoned in McCafe on Parramatta Rd at about 6:48pm when I all I had to keep me company was a mocha that I didn't want, and really cheesy radio music. (serves me right for thinking I'd actually get picked up on time).

>>> BUT... the good news is that despite feeling disgusting, crappy, ditched and cut, I still have friends who know that the one antedote to an emotionally overwhelming day is emo music. (I'm kidding, that's not the only antedote.. but it was a good one). Of course the only thing that is a step better from emo music is live emo music... so the Dashboard Confessional concert was perfect.

>>> Thursday emerged and I was lucky to peel my eyes open after such a late night. I can't even remember what happened that day, but I distinctly remember getting a month's worth of rain pouring down in a span of 12 hours. And having to drive in the midst of it... ewww. God bless Vincent.

>>> By the time of the weekend arrived I was crying for a sleep-in. So after allowing a couple of extra hours of sleep on Saturday morning, I attempted a quick clean-up of the kitchen, dining room, offices, common room, my faithful drumkit, and my own beloved bedroom.

>>> At about 5pm I began the 2.5 hour journey out West - by west I mean Penrith-west... because I finally had dinner with Jonna. YAY! Girly catch-up... which hasn't happened for about half a year. Man that was good. And about time too! Most of the conversation (and I hang my head shamefully as I type this) revolved around boys..

Hahaha.. and it's funny right, because the next day, when *a certain boy* came over to have lunch with my family, the first thing my sister's asked was if we were going out. And when I said no, I knew that all they'd done was disregard my answer because as far as they're concerned, he may as well be my boyfriend.

I, on the other hand, don't think so. I figure if you're gonna go for one person and this one person ends up being your first and only - the only girl you court, amaze and pursue - then you owe it to yourself (not to mention the girl!) to go all out. 110%. Why not? There's no point wasting anyone's time - not yours and not hers...

Again, another conclusion that sprung from another DNM with Sarah. This epiphany happened some time last night on the couch while we were pretending to watch Idol (I say pretending for Sarah's sake, because I know she hates the show).

It was nice sitting there and being told from a sister that I deserved nothing but the best. Usually it's me delivering that message to 90 teenage girls... but you know, it's nice to be reminded from an outsider every now and again. "Why the heck would you settle for anything less than the best?" Good point. I mean... if, in Ephesians, St Paul tells Christian women to submit to their husbands - it's only because their husbands are told to love their wives with the same love that Christ has for His Church. Now hold up now... that's OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD, AMAZING, SACRIFICIAL LOVE. Love that saves, transforms, nurtures and wows the very soul of a human being.

And they're wondering why I wouldn't say "yes" the moment he's asked me out? Jeez... because I'd like to think I'm worth more of an effort thanks. In the risk of sounding ridiculously up myself, can I justify my wanting to be swept of my feet with the fact that no girl in their right mind would settle for anything less than what they deserve if they knew that someone would give it to them. And if God wants you to have something he'll give it to you...

We deserve the best right?

Hands down!

stupid weekends

It's not the best feeling when, after hitting your snooze button for the second time and then realising it's already 5:54am, you wake up, and then start getting teary. Despite my extremely emotional side, I'm not one to cry in public all too often, but for some reason, the moment I got to Stand C at Eddie Avenue this morning, little bits of moisture started leaking out of my right eye. I missed my bus to Clovelly by about 3 minutes. So I had to wait another 31 minutes for the next one to arrive. Yay.

So I sat down at the bus-stop, zipped up my jacket (beautiful weather today, but still extemely chilly at 7:30am), and tried to read through the 9-5 magazine that some randowm Asian chic handed to me when I walked out of the station. Articles about fashion icons Christina Aguilera and Helena Christensen didn't offer too much of a distraction. I kept looking up at every bus that swept by in front of me (or at every vehicle that sounded anything like a bus) hoping that it would be one I could jump on so I could wheel my 10kg suitcase up Clovelly Rd, and into my bedroom. All I wanted to do was collapse on the floor (any floor!) and cry. But every time I looked up I was disappointed... so I'd hang my head and try reading again, only to be reminded of the $@**!%) evening I had yesterday, and how stupid, useless, cheap, rejected and idiotic I felt when I walked in my front door at 10:30pm.

Do you know what I mean when I rattle on about having one of those days that you just wish you could re-live because of how stupid you were? The moment T3 was over, I switched off the television, jumped in the shower, and spent a long time soaking up body wash, contemplating how awful it feels to allow yourself to be completely vulnerable in front of someone, only to have them ignore or discard you. Not to say that that's what happened yesterday, but that's sure as hell how it felt when I was lying in bed last night trying to fight back tears.

So yes... it's Monday morning. I officially feel like shit.

Serves you right Joy, you idiot. Stop relying on people to fill in the gaps that only God can fill. Damn it get off your lazy ass, forgive the people who've disappointed you, and get on with it!

But what if I don't want to be forgiving right now? What if I want to stay angry, because I feel like part of my dignity just got stolen, and I want the person who stole it to feel guilty, because THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE.

Why did you let them?

Good point. *sigh* Serves me right for opening up my heart hey? *raaaagghhhh!!!* God, I hate today.