Man... I seriously look like I'm in my second trimester of pregnancy. Italian meals are always, at a minimum, 3 courses. As a result, I have major feares about fitting into my maid of honour dress for 9th September.
Not that I'm complaining because I've never truly felt hungry during this entire time of travel ' we get so spoilt, and the food here is AWESOME. Haven't really come across anything that I don't like.
First course of pasta (had an awesome risotto in Siena yesterday), second course of meat and vegetables, then dessert. (Sometimes we get the antipesto first, then the pasta, then dessert - doesnt really matter, it's always great food).
Today I comfortably gobbled up plates of spaghetti, rosemary potatoes, salad, pork, plus a fruit salad, a nectarine, dates (that was all just dinner)... and to top it all off, Fr Christiano (our host in the diocese of Jesi) took us (Cimon,. Matt, Tim, Andrea, Fr T, Luc, Saad, and Mari) on a walk to city centre, where I discovered Italy's YUMMIEST gelati at about 1am.
Now I'm lying in bed, typing this on my phone, legs are tired, Cimon is probably fast asleep...
Bonne Note Italia!
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
On the Vatican and it's treasures
In the Salesianum (an enormous conference centre just outside Rome). Today the weather cleared, and I woke up at 6am... freshened up, and broke into a sweat well before 8am.
But this morning was spectacular (as all mornings in Italy seem to be). As I got ready for a morning trip to the Vatican I could hear the sisters chanting morning prayers from the chapel in their general house. It was so angelic to hear them sing, and when I joined them for Mass that morning, it was as though I could feel God smiling down on each of his devoted daughters, pleased at their love for him, and the fervence in their prayers.
Because this keyboard is really hard to type on, here are the main points of this day's adventures:
- Special trip into the Vatican via the rear entrance and up to the roof of St Peter's.
- The basilica is almost empty at 8am... whch is a wonderfully refreshing change of atmosphere considering the claustrophobic crowds that converge into the sacred place by 9:30am. To wander around and stare at the walls without bumping into anyone made me feel like the luckiest, and most peaceful person in the world.
- The tomb of JPII is amazing because it is humble, simple, and it is surrounded by such peaceful but uplifting aura that it's as if his spirit lies in the walls surounding his tomb. To kneel in front his resting place and ask for his intercession for all the church's servants, WYD08, and the people I love was incredible.
- Peered into the tomb where St Peter's relics are kept. The man who was given the keys to heaven... All I can say is WOW. And grazie mille x infinity to Sr B & Sr Ewa who are the reason why I was able to go down there.
- Reconciliation in St Peter's Basilica. WOW again. Absolution in the building that opens its doors to thousands of pilgrims everyday? Cleansing for my soul in the home of the Church I love and serve so much?? AMAZING.
- I knelt by the Blessed Sacrament, and one of the first things that came to mind was the intricacy and the grandeur of the tabernacle, the ornate decorations all over the walls, and the paintings that evoked such a deep reverence: all of which paled to the beauty of the humble, simple piece of bread which stood only 2 metres away from my body. God's presence on Earth... the greatest treasure in all of the richness within the Vatican is not in anything material, but on the divine being able to touch the world we live in through a simple piece of bread. Jesus... I miss you.
- Sr B, if you read this... I am praying for you. I love you so much & want you to experience abundant happiness... but I know God our Father wants this even more than you & I put together: and his plans, when revealed, are always proof of this!
Anyone else reading this, please say a prayer for me and all the Australian delegates who venture to the Angora conference in Loreto, Italia, tomorrow.
Much love, Joy
But this morning was spectacular (as all mornings in Italy seem to be). As I got ready for a morning trip to the Vatican I could hear the sisters chanting morning prayers from the chapel in their general house. It was so angelic to hear them sing, and when I joined them for Mass that morning, it was as though I could feel God smiling down on each of his devoted daughters, pleased at their love for him, and the fervence in their prayers.
Because this keyboard is really hard to type on, here are the main points of this day's adventures:
- Special trip into the Vatican via the rear entrance and up to the roof of St Peter's.
- The basilica is almost empty at 8am... whch is a wonderfully refreshing change of atmosphere considering the claustrophobic crowds that converge into the sacred place by 9:30am. To wander around and stare at the walls without bumping into anyone made me feel like the luckiest, and most peaceful person in the world.
- The tomb of JPII is amazing because it is humble, simple, and it is surrounded by such peaceful but uplifting aura that it's as if his spirit lies in the walls surounding his tomb. To kneel in front his resting place and ask for his intercession for all the church's servants, WYD08, and the people I love was incredible.
- Peered into the tomb where St Peter's relics are kept. The man who was given the keys to heaven... All I can say is WOW. And grazie mille x infinity to Sr B & Sr Ewa who are the reason why I was able to go down there.
- Reconciliation in St Peter's Basilica. WOW again. Absolution in the building that opens its doors to thousands of pilgrims everyday? Cleansing for my soul in the home of the Church I love and serve so much?? AMAZING.
- I knelt by the Blessed Sacrament, and one of the first things that came to mind was the intricacy and the grandeur of the tabernacle, the ornate decorations all over the walls, and the paintings that evoked such a deep reverence: all of which paled to the beauty of the humble, simple piece of bread which stood only 2 metres away from my body. God's presence on Earth... the greatest treasure in all of the richness within the Vatican is not in anything material, but on the divine being able to touch the world we live in through a simple piece of bread. Jesus... I miss you.
- Sr B, if you read this... I am praying for you. I love you so much & want you to experience abundant happiness... but I know God our Father wants this even more than you & I put together: and his plans, when revealed, are always proof of this!
Anyone else reading this, please say a prayer for me and all the Australian delegates who venture to the Angora conference in Loreto, Italia, tomorrow.
Much love, Joy
Saturday, August 25, 2007
purchases
- Gold pair of hand-made sandals in Sorrento
- Lots of postcards and Vatican stamps (you should all receive them within a week?)
- New hand-bag (SCORE!)
- Too much gelati
- Pompeii memorabilia
- Vatican treasures for the special ppl
Simple presents... that I hope I can give out to ppl, but figuring out to whom, I have no idea.
The list will grow soon.
- Lots of postcards and Vatican stamps (you should all receive them within a week?)
- New hand-bag (SCORE!)
- Too much gelati
- Pompeii memorabilia
- Vatican treasures for the special ppl
Simple presents... that I hope I can give out to ppl, but figuring out to whom, I have no idea.
The list will grow soon.
Friday, August 24, 2007
On early wake-ups and the South West cities of Italia
really need to pee atm
Again, apologies for Italian keyboard.
Sitting in receptionist's desk in my grey shorts & Thirsty Merc tshirt (yes Jonna)... slightly underdressed since the lobby in this hotel is soooo flash - chandeliers and marble floors, a terrace that overlooks the Mediterranean, giant vases of bright orange flowers and large, comfortable lounges.
My legs are exhausted and I'm already sporting a baby bulge because the last 48 hours have been absolute heaven and my tummy is quite (overly) satisfied.
So where to begin?
Wednesday morning woke up at 4am and already my stomach was demanding lunch (it was 12noon in Sydney). I tried to go back to sleep but ended up getting dressed and heading to the chapel (BEAUTIFUL chapel btw). Sr B and I caught the 75 bus to Via Farini 5... and we arrived about 45min early, but talked about life and other such things... you know how it is.
My insides were going goohey because everyone who turned up for the tour seemed to be with their family, siblings, friends or partners. When I took my solo seat on the bus to Pompeii I appeared to be the only person carrying more than just a backpack... but a beautiful tall, blonde woman sat next to me and I asked her where she was from. When she said she'd just celebrated her 40th birthday I thought she was lying, she really was gorgeous. Stacey, as she explained to me on our 3 hour drive south to Napoli, was a mother of two and lived just outside London.
Naples was a bit of a disappointment because of the weather. A dense blanket of mist had settled over the coastline, and it not only made it extremely humid, it prevented the view of what is meant to be one of Italy's most appreciated vantage points. Grrr...
BUT that didn't stop me from taking happy snaps and checking out the town, which kind of reminded me of Phils in that right next to a brand new pristine block of apartments lies a dilapidated building with half a wall falling off.
The drive through Napoli was interesting... it reminded me of how entertaining and hilarious I found European signage the first time I came here. Take this one for example - which was an enormous billboard that covered half of a 10storey building as you drove into Napoli:
Stacey was a great tour companion, since she was happy to take my stupid photos at every stage of the tour... I realised that if my Dad knew how to speak fluent Italian he'd be a brilliant tour guide, because the man who took us through the ruine reminded me so much of him because he was funny and told good stories.
By the time we finished in Pompeii, my white shoes weren't white anymore, and dust seemed to plaster my body in a similar way to the ash body casts of the people in the city... (ok exag, sorry)
I'll skip ahead now... the tour group left to go back to Rome, farewelled Stacey (but only after getting her Facebook details) and I jumped onto another bus, which was on its way to Sorento... and an Italian woman introduced herself to me... funny coz she kept speaking to me in Italian and God only knows what she was trying to say. I just smiled, nodded, explained multiple times that I was Australian, and only spoke English. By the time we checked into the hotel, she (her name was Anita) had made sure I was meeting her in the lobby at 8pm so we could have dinner together.
I got to my room (a tiny shoe box of a room that smelled a bit funny but is actually really comfortable and the bathroom really nice), I wanted to collapse in my bed... but I jumped into the shower to wash off Pompeii dust.
Forced myself to walk around the grounds with my camera because the lobby had impressed me so much. This hotel btw... is AMAZING. I wasn't expecting to book into a place that was DIRECTLY overlooking the Mediterranean, with the pool right by the ocean, an enormous restaurant dining area... with the most impressive, fattening and gluttenous menu.
On the way down to dinner I bumped into a woman who'd also checked in the same time as I had and she introduced herself (also Anita) and her two sons (Steve and Vance), and the five of us were instant buddies from that moment on.
Again, apologies for Italian keyboard.
Sitting in receptionist's desk in my grey shorts & Thirsty Merc tshirt (yes Jonna)... slightly underdressed since the lobby in this hotel is soooo flash - chandeliers and marble floors, a terrace that overlooks the Mediterranean, giant vases of bright orange flowers and large, comfortable lounges.
My legs are exhausted and I'm already sporting a baby bulge because the last 48 hours have been absolute heaven and my tummy is quite (overly) satisfied.
So where to begin?
Wednesday morning woke up at 4am and already my stomach was demanding lunch (it was 12noon in Sydney). I tried to go back to sleep but ended up getting dressed and heading to the chapel (BEAUTIFUL chapel btw). Sr B and I caught the 75 bus to Via Farini 5... and we arrived about 45min early, but talked about life and other such things... you know how it is.
My insides were going goohey because everyone who turned up for the tour seemed to be with their family, siblings, friends or partners. When I took my solo seat on the bus to Pompeii I appeared to be the only person carrying more than just a backpack... but a beautiful tall, blonde woman sat next to me and I asked her where she was from. When she said she'd just celebrated her 40th birthday I thought she was lying, she really was gorgeous. Stacey, as she explained to me on our 3 hour drive south to Napoli, was a mother of two and lived just outside London.
Naples was a bit of a disappointment because of the weather. A dense blanket of mist had settled over the coastline, and it not only made it extremely humid, it prevented the view of what is meant to be one of Italy's most appreciated vantage points. Grrr...
BUT that didn't stop me from taking happy snaps and checking out the town, which kind of reminded me of Phils in that right next to a brand new pristine block of apartments lies a dilapidated building with half a wall falling off.
The drive through Napoli was interesting... it reminded me of how entertaining and hilarious I found European signage the first time I came here. Take this one for example - which was an enormous billboard that covered half of a 10storey building as you drove into Napoli:
(don't ask me what it advertises because I really don't know)
Eventually we made our way to Pompeii, where Stacey introduced me to her friend Elizabeth (also from the UK, whom she'd met the day before on a walking tour through Rome), and the three of us befriended 3 Canadians, one of which was a (pretty good looking) guy who was doing a PHD in Roman history. He introduced me to his friend (studying English Literature) and his wife (who knows what she was doing, but damn it life can be so unfair... hahaha... JOKING!), and he shared to me about the dream of visiting Pompeii, how we would've loved to see Herculaneum because it was better preserved, and wow... Mt Vesuvius was right there... (sigh)
When we got to the excavations in Pompeii, my heart was pumping so fast I couldn't figure out what was making it difficult to breathe: the excitement of my life-long dream coming true, or the 34 degree heat and humidity.Stacey was a great tour companion, since she was happy to take my stupid photos at every stage of the tour... I realised that if my Dad knew how to speak fluent Italian he'd be a brilliant tour guide, because the man who took us through the ruine reminded me so much of him because he was funny and told good stories.
By the time we finished in Pompeii, my white shoes weren't white anymore, and dust seemed to plaster my body in a similar way to the ash body casts of the people in the city... (ok exag, sorry)
I'll skip ahead now... the tour group left to go back to Rome, farewelled Stacey (but only after getting her Facebook details) and I jumped onto another bus, which was on its way to Sorento... and an Italian woman introduced herself to me... funny coz she kept speaking to me in Italian and God only knows what she was trying to say. I just smiled, nodded, explained multiple times that I was Australian, and only spoke English. By the time we checked into the hotel, she (her name was Anita) had made sure I was meeting her in the lobby at 8pm so we could have dinner together.
I got to my room (a tiny shoe box of a room that smelled a bit funny but is actually really comfortable and the bathroom really nice), I wanted to collapse in my bed... but I jumped into the shower to wash off Pompeii dust.
Forced myself to walk around the grounds with my camera because the lobby had impressed me so much. This hotel btw... is AMAZING. I wasn't expecting to book into a place that was DIRECTLY overlooking the Mediterranean, with the pool right by the ocean, an enormous restaurant dining area... with the most impressive, fattening and gluttenous menu.
On the way down to dinner I bumped into a woman who'd also checked in the same time as I had and she introduced herself (also Anita) and her two sons (Steve and Vance), and the five of us were instant buddies from that moment on.
* * *
This morning we had (a buffet) breakfast together (fresh watermelon, rockmelon, grapes, plums, meats, cheese, croissants, nutella, cappucinos and grapefruit juice) and made our way to the Port of Sorento with a small tour group so we could catch a boat to Capri.At that moment... I fell in love.
The moment the hydrofoil took off and we were cutting through the water in fast speed, I knew I was madly in love with the Med. This is where I'm happiest, and where I know I'm in my element. The sea breeze catching my hair, the ocean spray in my face, the smell of salt, the sun beating down... This entire day has been PARADISE.
We boarded a smaller boat and made our way to the Blue Grotto, and the entire time I leant back and soaked in the sun (yes I've been wearing strapless tops day in and day out), and I am... so ridiculously in love with this entire region... I really don't want to meet the Australian delegates on Saturday. I'd much rather swim in this salt water pool or peer out into the horizon, where the sea meets the mist and mist meets the clouds and the blue, blue sky.
Capri was awesome. It's a little island off the coast of Sorento and the view is divine. Spent the day walking in the little village streets, walking in and out of shops (not buying anything coz I'm poor hahaha), meeting new people (including Japanese couple from New Jersey with two gorgeous lil kids), and I spent an hour swimming in the sea next to a whole heap of gleaming white yachts.
I don't want to leave...
* * *
Wish I'd brought:
- my boyfriend
- more skirts because it's so damn hot!
- a bigger hand bag that fits my journal
- a personal washing machine
Was thinking:
- Bags having honeymoon in the Mediterranean... hahahaa...
- Sorry if I don't bring home any presents, I'm being incredibly selfish during this holiday... and it's just too damn hard to look for nice things that I can afford.
- Wish I had an SLR camera to capture the views... it's been spectacular in this region!!!
- I think some Italian mosquitoes are feasting on my bare legs... better return to my room soon
- Steve and Vance are cute: wish I had brothers like 'em.
- As I dove into the ocean I wished Ryan was there coz he enjoys the beach and would make me swim out to sea even when I'm scared.
Funny moments:
- Met a French couple... the guy is everything a archetypical French man would be: tall, muscular, hairy, loved taking his shirt off... and loved making out with his woman (especially in the hotel pool... hahahaha...whenever their lips weren't touching, I'm sure whatever was under the water was making up for it)
- Yesterday I had 3 glasses of wine which left me walking around the terrace haphazardly
- Italy has no sand on their beaches. Instead there is just rocks... hard to navigate through the rocks... ouch ouch ouch...
- Pompeii was a kinky place. Found an engraving of a penis on the pavement... and the penis pointed to the direction of the brothel. When in Italy... hahaha...
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
On flights, and things i forgot
Buona sera amici!
(Don't know if that's right, and pardon for the lack of punctuation in this email, but this italian keyboard is seriously spinning me out!)
So... I'm in the computer room in the General House of the PDDM Sisters (praise God for sister Bernadette who got a blister running to the airport to meet me this morning so i didn't have to catch the train & bus to her place alone). So far, my main concerns (i.e. not being able survive my flight, losing my luggage on the transit from Frankfurt - Rome, not knowing how to get from Fiumicini airport to the place I'm staying) have all been ironed out, thanks to God's handywork.
The flight wasnt too bad - found myself at window seat (thanks for the tip Eddoes) next to a German couple flying back to Berlin. They'd spent a month in Australia so they were really nice to me and didn't mind me climbing over them for my random toilet visits during the 22 hours to Frankfurt.
We all got ridiculously frustrated when, on the first leg of the flight, the whole Qantas entertainment system went down (i.e. no movies no music), so thank God i had music uploaded on my phone (yes it was on flight mode).
Experienced a bit of turbulance here and there (made sure I skulled down any drinks that were on my pull-down tray every time the seatbelt sign started flashing), but all in all a safe trip, lots of eating, lots of (uncomfortable) sleeping... and when the entertainment system was back up i was thoroughly impressed when they had JT's "Future Sex Love Sounds", Panic at the Disco and Eskimo Joe albums uploaded. Also managed to watch half of "Sunshine" and a few episodes of "Chaser's WAR on Everything", "Family Guy", and "House".
Frankfurt airport was funny (the whole hour i spent there) - funny coz I found a magazine called "JOY" in one of the newsagents, and on the next shelf a magazine called "SCHMUCK" ... and then a whole shelf full of oversized sausages next to bags with the labels "WORLD OF NUTS". Gotta love those Germans.
The moment I walked off my Lufthansa Air flight I knew it was Summer. Walking out of the airport and straight to the station, I was greeted with hot, humid Italian air, the scent that reminds me so nostaligically of the first trip here 2 years ago, Christmas, and cute European guys who leave a nice scent of aftershave in their wake as they brush past you in the crowds.
It's been amazing... Summer is thriving (quiet though, because everyone in Rome is on holidays to escape this ridiculous heat), but I love that the air is still hot when I went for a walk with Sr Bernadette this evening...
(Jonna im sorry but i might return on your wedding day covered in mosquito bites - i forgot about insect repellant.)
I love:
- that its Summer!
- the PDDM sisters I'm staying with are so beautiful in their crisp white accents. Sr B introduces me as Gioia (pronounced Joy-ah), because that's Italian for Joy. They speak to me in rich, thick Italian and astound me with the speed of their conversations. Hearing Sr B speak fluent Italian is also a spin-out. Really cool too though!
- the bus trip to their house took me past the Colloseum, the Roman Fora, about ten different ancient monuments, and it was a flashback to our 2day race around Rome in 2005, which makes my insides tingle. I miss Eddoes, Nez and EJ who were always so funny everytime we found a new monument to climb or take snaps with.
- the fruit is tasty and fresh. Already I've feasted on plums, red pears and juicy watermelon... and it's only day 1! Ah yes... the Summer fruits...
- just around every corner in this city there is something awesome to look at. Tonight after my 3 hour nap and a delicious dinner, Sr B and I walked up to a fountain, that also had a panoramic view of Rome at dusk. Talk about breathtaking!
Wish I'd brought:
- An English-Italian dictionary (or a personal interpreter... too bad I can't take Sr B around with me everywhere I go... I just look at her blankly when anyone starts talking - she's an angel and saint-in-the-making I tell you!)
- More shorts
- A different pair of sandals (these black ones aren't gonna survive the next 3 days, i can tell)
Next on the agenda:
Tomorrow morning i leave at 6am for a 3day tour to Naples, Pompeii, Capri and Sorento. Pray that this tour company ain't just an Internet scam, that I survive the next 3 days flying solo on the West Coast, and that I don't lose all my money... because there's really none left.
Buono notte Australia!
(Don't know if that's right, and pardon for the lack of punctuation in this email, but this italian keyboard is seriously spinning me out!)
So... I'm in the computer room in the General House of the PDDM Sisters (praise God for sister Bernadette who got a blister running to the airport to meet me this morning so i didn't have to catch the train & bus to her place alone). So far, my main concerns (i.e. not being able survive my flight, losing my luggage on the transit from Frankfurt - Rome, not knowing how to get from Fiumicini airport to the place I'm staying) have all been ironed out, thanks to God's handywork.
The flight wasnt too bad - found myself at window seat (thanks for the tip Eddoes) next to a German couple flying back to Berlin. They'd spent a month in Australia so they were really nice to me and didn't mind me climbing over them for my random toilet visits during the 22 hours to Frankfurt.
We all got ridiculously frustrated when, on the first leg of the flight, the whole Qantas entertainment system went down (i.e. no movies no music), so thank God i had music uploaded on my phone (yes it was on flight mode).
Experienced a bit of turbulance here and there (made sure I skulled down any drinks that were on my pull-down tray every time the seatbelt sign started flashing), but all in all a safe trip, lots of eating, lots of (uncomfortable) sleeping... and when the entertainment system was back up i was thoroughly impressed when they had JT's "Future Sex Love Sounds", Panic at the Disco and Eskimo Joe albums uploaded. Also managed to watch half of "Sunshine" and a few episodes of "Chaser's WAR on Everything", "Family Guy", and "House".
Frankfurt airport was funny (the whole hour i spent there) - funny coz I found a magazine called "JOY" in one of the newsagents, and on the next shelf a magazine called "SCHMUCK" ... and then a whole shelf full of oversized sausages next to bags with the labels "WORLD OF NUTS". Gotta love those Germans.
The moment I walked off my Lufthansa Air flight I knew it was Summer. Walking out of the airport and straight to the station, I was greeted with hot, humid Italian air, the scent that reminds me so nostaligically of the first trip here 2 years ago, Christmas, and cute European guys who leave a nice scent of aftershave in their wake as they brush past you in the crowds.
It's been amazing... Summer is thriving (quiet though, because everyone in Rome is on holidays to escape this ridiculous heat), but I love that the air is still hot when I went for a walk with Sr Bernadette this evening...
(Jonna im sorry but i might return on your wedding day covered in mosquito bites - i forgot about insect repellant.)
I love:
- that its Summer!
- the PDDM sisters I'm staying with are so beautiful in their crisp white accents. Sr B introduces me as Gioia (pronounced Joy-ah), because that's Italian for Joy. They speak to me in rich, thick Italian and astound me with the speed of their conversations. Hearing Sr B speak fluent Italian is also a spin-out. Really cool too though!
- the bus trip to their house took me past the Colloseum, the Roman Fora, about ten different ancient monuments, and it was a flashback to our 2day race around Rome in 2005, which makes my insides tingle. I miss Eddoes, Nez and EJ who were always so funny everytime we found a new monument to climb or take snaps with.
- the fruit is tasty and fresh. Already I've feasted on plums, red pears and juicy watermelon... and it's only day 1! Ah yes... the Summer fruits...
- just around every corner in this city there is something awesome to look at. Tonight after my 3 hour nap and a delicious dinner, Sr B and I walked up to a fountain, that also had a panoramic view of Rome at dusk. Talk about breathtaking!
Wish I'd brought:
- An English-Italian dictionary (or a personal interpreter... too bad I can't take Sr B around with me everywhere I go... I just look at her blankly when anyone starts talking - she's an angel and saint-in-the-making I tell you!)
- More shorts
- A different pair of sandals (these black ones aren't gonna survive the next 3 days, i can tell)
Next on the agenda:
Tomorrow morning i leave at 6am for a 3day tour to Naples, Pompeii, Capri and Sorento. Pray that this tour company ain't just an Internet scam, that I survive the next 3 days flying solo on the West Coast, and that I don't lose all my money... because there's really none left.
Buono notte Australia!
Saturday, August 18, 2007
the time to buy tomatoes
Listening to: Clothes Off by Gym Class Heroes
Reading: MTV Italy - Go See Play
Wearing: Macquarie Uni hoodie, grey trackies
Body is: Weighing about 5kg less than usual. I don't know if my final bridesmaid's dress fitting this Sunday will do justice to what is usually slightly larger than a stick of a figure. I blame it on the stress.. and while some of you might resent the fact I can lose that weight in the a span of 4 days without a ridiculous lemon-detox diet or some other fad, I hate it. Unlike most girls, I actually get a complex about weighing too little as opposed to looking too fat. Guess I'll have to wait til I get to Napoli and stuff my face in the home-town of truly Italian pizza - I won't be stressed then.
Hmmm.. body is also freshly showered (unusual since it's around midnight), smelling like Dove moisturiser... toes are hurting from Sunday's City 2 Surf (bad choice to wear old runners which were half a size too small), nails are trimmed, and hair ready for a cut tomorrow...
Mind is: calmer, especially after delegating all my unfinished work and leaving the office at 6:50pm. It was pretty creepy being the last person in the Terrace Suites (unusual feeling, since the Operations Team is usually pulling overtime). At least now all I have to worry about is making sure tomorrow's hen's night makes Jonna feel incredibly special, that everyone has a great time, finding something to wear to dinner tomorrow night, that I don't forget to pack anything when I finally get around to it on Sunday, that everything fits into my borrowed suitcase, that I don't get a bad tan-line on my European adventure (bridesmaids dress is strapless), that the instructions I left for Vincent are clear, that my boyfriend doesn't fall asleep at the wheel on the way to tomorrow's 5am fishing trip, that my parents don't get the shits with me for not spending any time with them before I fly off on Monday, and that I survive 4 days on my own on the other side of the world.
I think people forget my trip to Italy (which begins on Monday) is a business trip. The first 4 days of my stay are purely personal (hence why I made sure I booked in a visit to Pompeii and Capri)... but the remaining 14 are WYD related, hence, classified as work.
What worries me most (and I know this is ridiculous, since worry gets you NO WHERE), is that when I get back at 6am on Friday 7th September, not only will I be met with APEC level security at Sydney airport, I'll get back to my place, snooze for a few hours, go to Jonna's wedding rehearsal & dinner, spend the next day preparing for her wedding, celebrate with all the sparks, excitement, euphoria, joy and pride that comes with watching one of your closest mates get married... and hit the desk at work 9am on Monday 10th. Talk about being wrecked.
I asked Edwin what I should try to dream about tonight, and he phrased my deepest, sincerest wish so innocently and perfectly: "Dream about not having to do anything... no to-do lists, no places to go, nothing to worry about... just you, me, and no work." Haha... poor guy. He's feeling the pressure at work too. Nice to know he can empathise when I say, "After one problem gets sorted, another one just comes before I get to breathe!" I.T. support... nerdy but admirable.
It kinda gets depressing when the realist in me figures the only time this dream of having nothing to do next will happen is after we retire (sorry Joy, wait another 45 years minimum for that one to come true)...
Last night brought my count of emotional break-downs within one week to a record-breaking 4. My dad had sent me to mail a few letters and buy tomatoes at 10pm and I drove to Edwin's to pick up his suitcase and spent about an hour sobbing and muttering incoherent gibberish because my brain hurt, snot was coming out my nose, and my face was smushed with tears. I had to stop and laugh while he was praying over me, when he said "Lord, please help Joy's brain stop hurting. She needs it..." Oh God love the guy... he didn't even mean to be stupid OR funny.
The third emotional break-down was in the car after Wednesday's meeting, when I felt completely useless, incompetent, and angry. One of my pet hates is not being listened to. It's such a degrading insult when someone talks over you, interrupts you when you're sharing an idea or your struggles, or just decides that whatever words you may have spoken don't deserve any response (except maybe a huff, or a look of incredulity... is that a word?)
The second was a few minutes before the City2Surf started and I decided I was completely unequipped for the 14km run I'd so eagerly signed myself up for. As I stood in the middle of the crowd of 60,000 runners/joggers/walkers and waited for the race to begin, I had the overwhelming desire to be at home, in bed, and NOT pushing my body to endure 3 hours of exercise when I hadn't done a single 30min set of ANYTHING in 6 months.
The first was Friday evening, after a gloriously sunny Winter day of filming in Sydney CBD.... during which I was exhausted, raggy, cramping, and I'd lost a very important piece of a brand new, expensive HDV broadcast camera AND my Nokia headphones. When I got home, Caitlyn lovingly greeted me with a nappy full of smelly poo (which I happily changed because I love her, and her hugs totally make up for her smelly nappies), collapsed on my bedroom floor and cried.
Crying has been a regular habit for me (maybe that's how I've lost weight? Hahahahaha....) I have yet to find a cure for what seems to be an endless cycle of tasks and resentment for the people who add things onto the end of my task list. It gets really depressing when I start wondering if this is what life is really about.
My soul is broken and I can tell, because there was a time when I NEVER would have wondered if life is such a tiring tragedy. I'm hoping with all my heart that this 18 day stint in rich, Catholic Italia will somehow awaken my senses to something much more inspiring, exciting... and... well... joyful.
Precisely two years ago I was in Cologne, Germany. It was the most exhausting and trying week of our 3.5 weeks in Europe, but by far the most fruitful in terms of faith. And just as silver must endure the hottest flame, I too know that this darkness just means I'm in the process of refinement. (grrr)
Reading: MTV Italy - Go See Play
Wearing: Macquarie Uni hoodie, grey trackies
Body is: Weighing about 5kg less than usual. I don't know if my final bridesmaid's dress fitting this Sunday will do justice to what is usually slightly larger than a stick of a figure. I blame it on the stress.. and while some of you might resent the fact I can lose that weight in the a span of 4 days without a ridiculous lemon-detox diet or some other fad, I hate it. Unlike most girls, I actually get a complex about weighing too little as opposed to looking too fat. Guess I'll have to wait til I get to Napoli and stuff my face in the home-town of truly Italian pizza - I won't be stressed then.
Hmmm.. body is also freshly showered (unusual since it's around midnight), smelling like Dove moisturiser... toes are hurting from Sunday's City 2 Surf (bad choice to wear old runners which were half a size too small), nails are trimmed, and hair ready for a cut tomorrow...
Mind is: calmer, especially after delegating all my unfinished work and leaving the office at 6:50pm. It was pretty creepy being the last person in the Terrace Suites (unusual feeling, since the Operations Team is usually pulling overtime). At least now all I have to worry about is making sure tomorrow's hen's night makes Jonna feel incredibly special, that everyone has a great time, finding something to wear to dinner tomorrow night, that I don't forget to pack anything when I finally get around to it on Sunday, that everything fits into my borrowed suitcase, that I don't get a bad tan-line on my European adventure (bridesmaids dress is strapless), that the instructions I left for Vincent are clear, that my boyfriend doesn't fall asleep at the wheel on the way to tomorrow's 5am fishing trip, that my parents don't get the shits with me for not spending any time with them before I fly off on Monday, and that I survive 4 days on my own on the other side of the world.
I think people forget my trip to Italy (which begins on Monday) is a business trip. The first 4 days of my stay are purely personal (hence why I made sure I booked in a visit to Pompeii and Capri)... but the remaining 14 are WYD related, hence, classified as work.
What worries me most (and I know this is ridiculous, since worry gets you NO WHERE), is that when I get back at 6am on Friday 7th September, not only will I be met with APEC level security at Sydney airport, I'll get back to my place, snooze for a few hours, go to Jonna's wedding rehearsal & dinner, spend the next day preparing for her wedding, celebrate with all the sparks, excitement, euphoria, joy and pride that comes with watching one of your closest mates get married... and hit the desk at work 9am on Monday 10th. Talk about being wrecked.
I asked Edwin what I should try to dream about tonight, and he phrased my deepest, sincerest wish so innocently and perfectly: "Dream about not having to do anything... no to-do lists, no places to go, nothing to worry about... just you, me, and no work." Haha... poor guy. He's feeling the pressure at work too. Nice to know he can empathise when I say, "After one problem gets sorted, another one just comes before I get to breathe!" I.T. support... nerdy but admirable.
It kinda gets depressing when the realist in me figures the only time this dream of having nothing to do next will happen is after we retire (sorry Joy, wait another 45 years minimum for that one to come true)...
Last night brought my count of emotional break-downs within one week to a record-breaking 4. My dad had sent me to mail a few letters and buy tomatoes at 10pm and I drove to Edwin's to pick up his suitcase and spent about an hour sobbing and muttering incoherent gibberish because my brain hurt, snot was coming out my nose, and my face was smushed with tears. I had to stop and laugh while he was praying over me, when he said "Lord, please help Joy's brain stop hurting. She needs it..." Oh God love the guy... he didn't even mean to be stupid OR funny.
The third emotional break-down was in the car after Wednesday's meeting, when I felt completely useless, incompetent, and angry. One of my pet hates is not being listened to. It's such a degrading insult when someone talks over you, interrupts you when you're sharing an idea or your struggles, or just decides that whatever words you may have spoken don't deserve any response (except maybe a huff, or a look of incredulity... is that a word?)
The second was a few minutes before the City2Surf started and I decided I was completely unequipped for the 14km run I'd so eagerly signed myself up for. As I stood in the middle of the crowd of 60,000 runners/joggers/walkers and waited for the race to begin, I had the overwhelming desire to be at home, in bed, and NOT pushing my body to endure 3 hours of exercise when I hadn't done a single 30min set of ANYTHING in 6 months.
The first was Friday evening, after a gloriously sunny Winter day of filming in Sydney CBD.... during which I was exhausted, raggy, cramping, and I'd lost a very important piece of a brand new, expensive HDV broadcast camera AND my Nokia headphones. When I got home, Caitlyn lovingly greeted me with a nappy full of smelly poo (which I happily changed because I love her, and her hugs totally make up for her smelly nappies), collapsed on my bedroom floor and cried.
Crying has been a regular habit for me (maybe that's how I've lost weight? Hahahahaha....) I have yet to find a cure for what seems to be an endless cycle of tasks and resentment for the people who add things onto the end of my task list. It gets really depressing when I start wondering if this is what life is really about.
My soul is broken and I can tell, because there was a time when I NEVER would have wondered if life is such a tiring tragedy. I'm hoping with all my heart that this 18 day stint in rich, Catholic Italia will somehow awaken my senses to something much more inspiring, exciting... and... well... joyful.
Precisely two years ago I was in Cologne, Germany. It was the most exhausting and trying week of our 3.5 weeks in Europe, but by far the most fruitful in terms of faith. And just as silver must endure the hottest flame, I too know that this darkness just means I'm in the process of refinement. (grrr)
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
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