two lanes

There is a section of the road that I live on that is actually two roads along the same strip – one section of the road is a main road and the other (separated by a grass) is part of a back-street.
If driving late at night or under influence of drowsiness, drugs, or alcohol, one might mistake it as a three-laned length of my road, with two lanes heading north and one lane heading south, as opposed to the normal two-lanes heading in opposite directions, with a backstreet running adjacent.
Accordingly, one might make the mistake of merging into the south lane, thinking they were in a lane heading north – and only until the lights and approaching or the cars start to beep at a ridiculously panicky rate, does one realise they are about to cause a head-on collision with the cars heading south.

Tonight my stomach is feeling like I just went through a head-on collision. Feels like moths are lying larvae in my intestines, as opposed to butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
Such is the painful version of jitters because I realised that relationships can only really function when communication is coming from both directions. One-way or one-sided conversations don’t register on a scale of effective communication when it comes to friendships – communication MUST happen on a TWO-WAY street, and damn it I am so close to getting fed up with being the only one to drive down this lonesome road.

Explain to me why logic appears to fail in the brain of a person I really did believe had a high IQ:: if misunderstanding and misinterpretation occurs due to a communication break-down, wouldn’t it thus be logical to fix the communication break-down? … uh… by… communicating?

It appears not.

Forgive my lack of sensitivity – I have people who have been doing their utmost best to convince me to just leave the brokenness where it is and stop driving down this same, tiresome, painful road to heartache. People who try to convince me that it’s pointless to continue a journey to a dead-end when there are obviously other roads to take. But stubborn little me, whilst I flick through my current edition of the road map, still drives down that stupid road.

Perhaps with the faint hope that I will see headlights that tell me this IS a two-way road and I’m actually heading somewhere…