a glass of milk

Lying in bed again... tonight I am absolutely exhausted. Neck is sore, feet are tired, legs are bruised and jaw is throbbing. Funnily enough, I feel all these things, and I didn't even get into a punch up (what are rort!!). Hehehe... I can hear someone is listening to music... it might be Bec (her room is next to mine).

What a packed weekend! Carnivale Christi was on, and CYS was heavily involved (i.e. Vincent planned the Youth Fest, and our heroic team executed the plans). Gotta love the CYS team man... the things they do - it's amazing. For those who don't know, Carnivale Christi is a weekend long event that the Sydney Archdiocese holds to celebrate faith through art, dialogue and... well... a festival. Today was the festival of faith... and WOW - I was impressed! The piazza outside the cathedral was full of stalls of people who were soooo proud of their faith. We had a whole heap of different cultures selling food, religious orders giving our prayer cards, mission teams telling their stories and encouraging people to spread the faith in Africa, India and Cambodia. Both young and old people performed - jazz bands, rock bands, cultural dances, vocal ensembles... the works. As I sat there amidst the kerfuffle, I decided that the Festival of Faith is something that every Catholic has to experience at least once in their life.

Last night was also a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I will forever remember collapsing in the middle of the massive school hall, as the rest of the team heroically packed the final bits of pieces of equipment into our van. Tristan sat next to me and we both confessed how much speaking at the front can take out of us. The YouthFest for 2006 was finally over (mind you, it was about midnight), and the speakers, lights, sound system, laptops, projectors, screens, cables, sacred space materials, candles, cables, leads and left-over food was all stored up in our beast of a vehicle, ready to be driven home. Everyone was exhausted. I have a new-found respect for Tristan and Joe... their technical abilities, and their ability to trouble-shoot every single technical bug we experienced last night (and we really did experience EVERY technical bug... far out - from microphones crackling, the projector not projecting, songs skipping or looping, videos playing out of sync... gargh gargh and gargh again!)

By the time I got home, all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed under my covers and have a good cry. Not because life was stuffed, but because I distressed and exhausted, and needed a hug from my Savior. I left everyone in the kitchen to consume the sausages and eggs I'd fried up (by that time it was about 1am), and went upstairs to have a deep think about the fact I hadn't had a single proper meal for the whole week, and was trying to function with less than 5 hours of sleep every night. I think it all caught up on me today, so instead of watching the final soccer match of the Archbishop's Cup, I fell asleep in the back seat and didn't wake up until the sun had already set.

***

This weekend I realised that God will use or do anything to make sure we all know that HE is in control, and we shouldn't try to be. Sometimes it's really hard to keep remembering that He has a bigger plan than our own. When things don't turn out the way we want them to, the last thing we think of doing is stepping back to take a panoramic view of life... but when we do it's a comfort to know that we are but a single thread in a massive tapestry that is both complicated, but magnificent and truly awesome.

I also realised that there are a handful of people, who, when I see (regardless of how often, or how rarely), always make me feel really happy and grateful for their existence. Deacon Liem is one, Vicky (from WYD Bus 2) is another, and of course Darryl (my little brother), Caitlyn (my niece) and Ivy. These are people who probably don't really know each other, but seem to make my heart feel that little bit more complete every time I see them. Probably because they're just... well... special. Don't know how else to explain it - but they all remind me of different blessings of both the past and the present.

Then tonight, at Tristan's youth mass, I realised that there are some games that will always be challenging, and (regardless of your age) can always be fun. Concentration is one of them. The game where you have to count to 20 in a group of people is another. Sometimes childishness is the only solution when you're exhausted.

Aha... and of course... there's always those things that make life seem ok, even when it's totally everywhere and not ok. Like books you read as a kid (atm I'm re-reading The Adventures of Snugglepot and Cuddlepie by May Gibbs), that phone call from the person that makes you giddy, and a glass of milk before bed.