flipping chocolate pancakes

What an awesome way to spend a Saturday morning!

Waking up to a bright, beautiful Sunny Summer day. Got two loads of washing done, (I have yet to hang another load on the line... but that can wait til later this afternoon, made some choc-chip pancakes, read few chapters of "A Lesson Before Dying," (a novel) by Ernest J. Gaines, got the kitchen clean... and now.. it's just a matter of getting through two hundred pages of spiritual theology.

Ooooh yeah...

In my streak of kitchen obsessiveness (I cooked a killer tuna omelette for lunch and chicken (with herb & basil fried rice) for dinner last night), I decided this morning was a perfect opportunity to test my (intense lack of) pancake flipping skills. I finally got it right after the third attempt of flipping butter all over the sink.

My conclusion, after what happens to be an extremely exhausting week, is that regardless of what gets you down and what fears you have, la vita e bella. ;o) Sometimes you just need to drop the sad things and concentrate on the simple joys. Like flipping pancakes. The process may be messy - but the result is drool-worthy. :o)

I saw these words of comfort because it's been an emotionally tormenting week. Sometimes it feels like I'll be destined to make the same mistakes over and over again: trusting others and myself more than trusting God; getting too caught up in a moment (and we all know that moments are just that: moments that aren't intended to last forever); lying to myself to make myself feel better; being dishonest and closed off from the people who are just trying to help... the list goes on. To some extent it's comforting to know that these repeated mistakes are part of humanity's fallen nature... but I'm kind of sick of falling - I really just want to find my feet and start walking. Perhaps the real mistake I make is when I do find my feet, I attempt running almost straight away, and stack it because I'm going too fast.

And so the real challenge is patience. Not just with myself, but with other people. Especially patience for the people who seem to be holding onto my very fragile heart - because forcing them to hurry up and get it right risks them falling and stacking it too. And as they fall.. the fragile heart they're holding hits the ground and shatters too.

On a more positive note, last night was a soothing, quiet and peaceful remedy to what was a emotionally unbalanced week. I was in a flood of tears on Thursday night while I visited the CYS team in Bathurst. I guess because I still feel like I'm all over the place... and I should've been at Mark's mum's surprise party last night... but I just couldn't hack being around people. So instead I kept it quiet last night. A quiet dinner, a heart-moving Italian flick, and a sweet and sentimental moment on the couch, just wrapped up in conversation and comfort.

Sometimes I think... if it feels this good to be hugged by you, then I can't wait to be wrapped up in God's arms... ;o) When I'm not thinking that, I'm appreciating the simple joy of receiving warm and tingly hugs from the right people.

You know who you are... ;o) Those people who make my insides fly, or my dreams feel reachable, who tame my fears and comfort my soul just by wrapping their hearts around me. I love it when we're together.

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song I could sing
But I can try for your heart

Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? and where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing its always better when we're together

...
Yeah, look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments
Just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that theyll be gone
When the morning light sings
And brings new things
For tomorrow night you see
That theyll be gone too
Too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way
Into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression
I was somewhere in between
With only two
Just me and you
Not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be
We'll sit beneath the mango tree now

Its always better when we're together


[Jack Johnson - Better Together]