I just emptied out my email inbox... caught up on the lives of people by reading their blogs. (The more I read other people's blogs, the less I want them to read mine... strange but true). Shout-out to Colloes, who is in Jerusalem - hope you're loving every second of it, because I'm so jealous right now... although it just gives me another country to put on my "to-do list" of countries to visit (you know... up there with Hawaii, NZ, Spain and Egypt). Funny how I'm not that interested in going to America. Oh - expect to visit Hershey and to experience a white Christmas in New York. Edwin shattered my dreams by telling me I probably won't be allowed to bungee jump at the Grand Canyon - so we better go bungee jumping in New Zealand, or you're going down!
Ay so it's 2:35am right now. Has anyone else noticed that you can't edit publishing times on BlogSpot anymore? Or is it just me?
Anyhoo... the life of Joy has been all over the place since 2006 started. HAPPY NEW YEAR friends and blog-fans! The happenings of New Year's Eve kind of summed up what the rest of this year may be like - full of pointless but hilarious jokes, surrounded by strange people, being a witness to beautiful things and being very, very blessed and lucky.
Tonight's events were testimony to that. SPY organised a beautiful (surprise) farewell party for me. I thought it was the sweetest thing for the kids to do, and it just affirmed me of how lucky I've been to be able to experience what I have - and wow, I'm only 20. God sure knows how to pour out grace.
Those youth make me really proud to be a Catholic. It makes me laugh to know how much they protested against growing in their faith... and then realising how God's nudges and Spirit really worked miracles - not just in their lives, but definitely in my own.
Right now there is a cow on my bedroom desk. It has a few helium balloons tied to it's leg, and it's looking pretty sad. His name is Mylow (pronouned like the drink "Milo") and he's from Marife. I got so many presents today - it felt like Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one. Even though I cried during the videos and my speech, I wasn't really sad. I was just... happy. Proud. Affirmed. Confident that God has and will continue to take care of his children. Blessed.
Edz took me home and we prayed outside on the front porch and we talked about nothing for a couple of hours. I figure those are the best conversations - the ones about nothing and everything... they're even better when I know God's watching over us.
I feel strange now that my side of the bedroom is kind of bare. My walls are naked, my wardrobe will soon be emptied. *sigh* This year will fly by without me even knowing it... but I can't help but being a bit scared. Scared only because I feel like there's a blank canvas in front of me, and I'm always scared of making the first few splashes of paint.
I guess what I'm learning is that God is the artist, and I'm just part of the painting - not the other way around. To remember that when the going gets tough is the tricky bit.
The beautiful thing though (and I mentioned this tonight in our pointless conversation) is that God has given me enough to affirm me that he really answers prayers. My favourite moment at the SPY camp (apart from conquering the 3 storey high ropes course and thrashing the other team in volleyball! ) was the prayer time in my cabin with most of the girls at the camp. It happened at about 11pm just after lights out, and we spent a good half hour asking Mary to pray for good beach weather on Friday, and to listen to our intentions and goals for the year.
That was the best half hour of the camp... and probably the most productive, seeing as the sky cleared completely on Friday and we had a perfect day at Long Reef Beach, bathing in the sun, adding to our shades of dark and red sunburn and getting sand stuck in our bums. The point is - despite the clouds, the sun shone through. And God eventually moved those clouds to provide what ended up being the perfect finale to my final SPY event.
That day at the beach was crazy - the waves were rough - and for the first time in my life, I was scared of drowning in the ocean. Haha... when I swam back to shore my legs were sore and I couldn't breathe... and all I thought about was how much I wanted to have the energy to get through the break point and catch a decent wave. I'll learn how to surf eventually... ;o)
Crap... it's almost 3am and I'm getting up in 3.5 hours. Ooops...
Oh there's so much to say but not enough space and words to say it.
I'm going to miss you / I'm so proud of you / Thank you for all that you've been and done for me / I know God is listening to our prayers / Pray for me / I'll be praying for you / I'm afraid / I trust Him, so I know it'll be ok / You can always trust in Him / Don't doubt what you are capable of / I have faith in you and what you can do and become / You've inspired me to be better than what I was / You will improve / You'll grow / You'll learn to love more / And I promise... I'll do the same. ;o)
To all that I'm leaving behind - Praise God.
To all that I'm starting ahead - Trust God.
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