one of those ones...

Aloha Summer weather! Tomorrow is meant to be one of those beautiful Spring days that make me yearn for December sunshine (30-something degrees). The days are getting longer, the dresses getting girlier, the tan getting darker, feet getting smellier (gross but true), and the dreams getting deeper.

I am too lazy to blog these days - partly because by the time I get to my bed I'm too lazy to put on the appropriate sleep-time clothing, let alone wait for my laptop to boot, log-on and think of things to write.

Today, though, we had household at Jane's (a rarity in my life), and it was... good... to vent. At times I felt like I was getting the same answers I've always gotten - but at the same time I new the reason why it felt that way - because those answers are true; and they will always remain true.

I have been lazy at work since my return from Italy. Actually no - that's not true - I've been realistic (and there's a difference). When Edwin and I were on our way home from last night's Theology on Tap session @ PJ Gallaghers, I told him the reason why I haven't produced the videos that were meant to be produced two weeks ago is that I am no longer prepared to kill myself over something that clearly isn't worth losing sleep, quality time with family & loved ones, or my sanity for (let alone my life). If there was anything that the Loreto experience taught me, it was to embrace the parts of my life that I have been so guilty of ignoring over the past twelve months.

By "ignoring" I mean "not giving due attention to" - I am sick of not giving proper attention to the things in my life that give me... (hahaha) joy.

So... I have spent the last three weeks working my 8 hour days; going home when it was time to go home; resting when it was time to rest; spending time with my neice and my boyfriend when it was time to give them my time; cleaning the bathroom and toilet; folding my laundry instead of letting it pile up and making my room look like a disaster zone; washing and vacuuming my car; giving out gifts from overseas; catching up with friends (even though sometimes they aren't always sober when this happens); riding my bike; enjoying the first few talks of the Singles of Christ CLP... doing the things I ENJOY... as opposed to giving every ounce of my energy to a job that neither demands nor deserves that type of sacrifice.

Faith is at its best when it can still exist in the real world - in the midst of real life. (Or... at least that's what I told Jane on Facebook)

The past few days I have struggled with the question: What makes a Christian lifestyle more rewarding than a normal one? Why live the Christian values and suffer being ridiculed or shunned for having these values when their are millions of people who either ignore or don't know of these values and seem to be enjoying their reckless lifestyles? Being a Christian doesn't shield me from being hurt, abused, depressed, broken, in dept or tempted. If anything the challenges become harder... so why choose it? Why live it?

I won't publish tonight's household answers here because I can't be bothered. Feel free to let me know your thoughts, however, because very few people can answer this one. A quarter of my country's population are "Catholics" (this according the latest census) but only a handful will stand up for values in the public sphere.

Is it fear of starting an argument?
Fear of losing the argument?
Fear of having the argument?
Fear of not knowing what to argue?
All of the above really.

Most, if not all, discussions (I prefer to use the euphemism - forgive me) need to be brought out into the light so that more than a handful of Catholics learn how to answer that questions I have been struggling with for the past few days.