Thursday, July 14, 2005

exponential stupidity to the infinity!! =|

Oh Joy you are such an idiot. Without a doubt - one of the stupidest girls to walk the face of the earth.

Ehp. So...

She: Sends a message that is sooo not supposed to be sent to the person who received it.
He says: ???
She says: It's coz God does beautiful things and plans exciting things that get her all happy... (or something to that effect - go check my outbox)
He says: What's so exciting?
She says: (to herself) If you only knew, then you'd be pulling me out of the grave I just dug myself into.



******


Today was a variety of strange things. One of the highlights was lunch at Towers with Jay. Our conversation over Malaysian style hokkien noodles and strawberry ice-tea was both thought-provoking and led me to a few insights about my own beliefs on what "TRUE LOVE" is.

- Love (contrary to popular belief) is not about feelings. Unlike love, feelings don't last. Anger, happiness, tiredness, hopelessness, tension, excitement and curiosity are feelings that come and go. You can be angry because of a bad day, but one conversation or act of kindness can tip that feeling to gratitude or happiness. Feelings aren't solid; it's in their nature to change, just like we do. But love, along with faith and hope, lasts forever. Love transcends the shallowness of feelings.

- The English language cheapens love. We use the same word to describe our fondness of ice cream and to describe the way we feel about God, our family, or our cars. The Greeks had the right idea when they came up with five different words for "love". Today I told Jay about the 3 main "levels" of love... from attraction, to friendship and brother/sisterhood, to dying to yourself. It's obviously more complex than that... but to learn how to love, one should know the nature of love.

- Love is about sacrifice. It's about humbling yourself to the point of irrationality - not for the sake of a show, but because you truly believe that in sacrificing your own desires and your own plans you are doing what's best for the one whom you love.

- Talk is cheap. Saying "I love you" means nothing if it can't be backed up with action.

- When it comes down to crunch time, love is all about choice. What differentiates humans from animals is our ability to make choices. We are responsible for our decisions. We decide how we act, how we respond to situations, how we give, how we communicate, and what we achieve. When we hit the fork in the road and need to decide whether or not something is worth fighting for the choice belongs to no one else but ourselves...

- I believe true love manifests itself when someone is ready to risk LOVING even when they might not be loved in return. I reckon that if your choice to fight for someone is based on the prerequisite that they will choose to fight for you too, then that 'love' is cheap and selfish. Choosing to fight for someone even if they choose not to fight for you is the mark of truly selfless love. That's the love on the cross.

DAY IN AND DAY OUT, WE DON'T CHOOSE GOD... We reject him when we don't stand up for him, when we choose sin instead of salvation... AND DESPITE ALL THIS, HE CHOOSES TO LOVE US ANYWAY. And no, we don't deserve it... but that's the beauty of true love. Those who receive it don't deserve it, but it will be given anyway.

*******


My prayer at the beginning of this year was that God would teach me how to love. I'm still a novice, and believe I'll remain at training level until the day I die... but it's an exciting process. And even though I was asked the gut-wrenching question yesterday, the answer in my heart made me realise that every challenge and hurt I experience as I learn love's valuable lessons will be justified when I discover what it is I'm searching for...



Were you willing to give up something you already knew you had for something you weren't sure you could even have?

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