1. To prevent from accomplishing a purpose or fulfilling a desire;
2. To cause feelings of discouragement or bafflement in;
3. To make ineffectual or invalid; nullify.
_______________________
It's Sunday morning and the heater is on. The sun is out, and it's mighty tempting to jump out my bedroom window to run away, but I guess I'm stuck here until I write another 1000 words.
So why am I blogging? I've been writing pointless entries about the kerfuffle in my room and my head all week, and I really do feel sorry for the people who read this - you must be sick of my whinging about uni.
But here I am, praising God that I'm awake this early, despite being soooo exhausted, but I just don't feel... AT PEACE.
I'm bloody terrified. Writer's block is a strange thing, but it sure as hell paralyzes me to the point where I can stare at my notes, all the sources that I've analysed, the authors I have quoted... and still come up with absolutely nothing.
And no-one knows how to get me out of this hole I've dug myself into - yes, I already know I should have handed it in ten days ago, I already know that it's my fault for having not done it during the semester when I knew it was due, I already know I'd planned to have it complete before the REVELATION concert.... duh I'm not an idiot! Why do people want to remind me about the possibilities of failing this subject, or passing another day without having handed this assignment in..? I already know these things.
And so I'm feeling really lonely. And lost and... FRUSTRATED.
___________________________
My muscles are not moving,
My eyes are extra sore,
I know that I can do this,
But I don't want to anymore!
I'm searching for the answer
But my engine is so slow
- I hate that I can't articulate
The things I say I know.
I'm bursting for the freedom
That this cage has kept from me
I've reached the end of tolerance
And can't find the @#*$^! key.
PLEASE pray for my survival.
I have other things to do.
I've worked so hard to get this far
But can't wait til this is through.
No comments:
Post a Comment