procrastination is an art, not a vice

It's Saturday morning and I'm surviving on 3 hours of sleep. Good times ahead... can you tell?

Before I go on, I've got to announce that I love my mum. Although my jeans are about to burst, I can't complain - she made pancakes this morning. So there I am, in the kitchen at 9am in the middle of Winter, enjoying pancakes and chocolate ice-cream. *YAH!* Ha! Beat that!

I also love my dad - he's such a funny bloke. I get my arguing skills from him. Just wait for the time when you're in deep conversation, and it suddenly escalates into a philosophical or religious debate. Good luck to you and your eardrums.

Meanwhile, do you know how long it took to get my brain to function last night? At 2am I'd only summarised two readings and suddenly I was watching Russel Peters on my laptop (I should never have scabbed it from Ryan's CD). I woke up today with a Chinese man's voice floating in my head, saying, "BE A MAN!"

And for those who don't have a clue what I'm on about there - sorry I just wasted 18 seconds of your life.

BUT - for those who like to waste precious time, here are a few tips on how to do it. I'm a pro:

- Don't start your work until you've prepared yourself to look like you're going out. It's a great time waster, especially if you do the whole shebang - washing hair, exfoliating, moisturising... if you're going for gold put make-up on for no reason.

- Decorate the margins of your notes and readings with pictures of unrelated scenery or characters. I have just rediscovered the miracle in the simple stationery item: THE TEXTA. Good for drawing teenage mutant ninja turtles, anime, floral arrangements and clouds.

- Decide that the night you're meant to start your major essay is the night you're gonna tell your mum who your crush is. There goes two hours right there... and any chance of you getting together. Hahaha....

- Start your hardcore exercise regime but turning up really hardcore punk rock and trying to combine with hiphop dance moves. If that doesn't waste time, at least you'll have a good time laughing at yourself, and you could be providing great entertainment for your room-mate.

- Pick the hair off your bedroom floor. The hair that has accumulated since you last vacuumed is already another layer of carpet. By the time you see the real floor again, you will have exceeded your assignment deadline by months!

- Start eating things in your kitchen that you didn't know you even had. Not only does the eating kill time, but the bloated feeling afterwards takes a good hour to recover from.

- Watch Indian stand-up comedians at 3 in the morning.

- Vow to memorise the lyrics of all the songs currently on your playlist.

- Tab the books your overdue library books with colour-coded post-its. Not only does it make you feel like you're doing work, but your "study" zone looks a whole heap prettier.

- Go through the messages in your mobile phone inbox.

- Attempt again and again to play fast songs on guitar.

- Log into your blogger dashboard and write a couple of points on how to procrastinate. OR... just read this one over and over again. ;o)

Cheers!