the nostalgic benefits of Milo

There is a temptation to fall asleep, but the words of my mates keep floating in and out of my head - "Desperate times call for desperate measures!" He reminds me in the car today. And then we laugh - because we all know that it's my fault that I'm in this situation.

I'm not going to complain about being in the situation though. The torture of handing in assignments late and going to bed late (or not going to bed at all, as the case may be today) is a miniscule price to pay, for the victories already experienced in the latter half of 2005.

Right now... my bedroom mirror (despite having had postmodern theory deconstructed on its surface in black whiteboard marker), looks cleaner than it has for months before tonight. I can't say the same for the exhausted face looking into it though.

So... I'm belly down on my bedroom floor, and it's pretty warm in here for a Winter's night. Just finished off a mug of Milo. Decided not to opt for coffee, because I told Nez I wasn't going to commit suicide by trying to pull 2 all-nighters in a row. My body plans to function well beyond the age of 40.

There was something satisfying in finishing that MAS306 essay, but God did I hate knowing that I had another 2 majors to complete within 48 hours.

But I've decided not to dwell on that. "Beyond Borders" whispers soft soul music out of the speakers, and I close my eyes to think of GAT. The GK villages, the smile of the children whose life was simple, the smell of ALPADI at dawn, the cold water on my skin at 6am, the honoring session, the hugs, the Emmaus walk, the prayer time, journal entries, the crowd of 10,000 at ARANETA, the still water at Borocay beach, and the beautiful sun that was inescapable.

During assessment period it's easy to trap yourself within the pages of theory, lecture notes and drool. There's a mental incapacity to escape from the dread of not knowing enough in time, not arguing the point well enough, not getting the answer right... In the midst of the chaos my mind pauses for a second... takes a panaromic snapshot of life... and suddenly I remember:

IF HE WANTS YOU TO HAVE IT, HE'LL GIVE IT TO YOU.

Sr Val's words of wisdom. ;O) So short, so simple, and so beautifully true.

Life is more than what we feel today.

If you don't believe me, backtrack to all the memories of all your yesterdays - and realise this: He's been carrying you on his wings of love all along... ;o)