the world is sleeping

It's almost 3am. I've been awake since 9am - quite an achievement for someone who is still somewhat jet-lagged, but a poor effort on my part because I was supposed to go to Mass today.

But that's not to say that today was a waste. Today I got to see most of the SPY kids again, and my heart was warmed by all their welcomes, their hugs, their hand-shakes, smiles, and their simple faith that brought the together tonight at FFD. It's always a tear-jerker to see them praising God so beautifully in their innocence. *sigh*

Before I knock off though, I thought I'd share something about today... I was the last of the 4 WYD representatives to give a testimony after Mass today. Frenace gave a thorough description of the beautiful sites we saw, Dominique gave a touching reflection of what it was like to meet such amazing people, Nereus gave a personal account about his journey and how the story of the 3 Wise Men has changed his life... and I gave the final spiel of the words of our Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI.

I'll admit that when we split up the topics, I knew they'd ask me to share about his message to the world. I'll also admit that out of all the topics, I thought it was the last topic from I had anything inspiring to share. The week-long WYD celebrations in Cologne - from our arrival at the college on Monday night to the late-night shower on Friday night - had been a roller-coaster of challenges, obstacles, hurts, irritation and disappointments. People were complaining, others weren't getting along... and we got to know each other in ways that weren't always pleasant. Suffice to say that I had begun the 3 hour long treck to Marienfeld with a heavy heart and a head heavy with still unanswered questions. We hadn't attended a single workshop - and our one attempt at watching a concert in West Cologne was another disappointment because upon arrival, we were told it had been cancelled. Saturday's 10km walk was a welcome opportunity for me to finally have some personal space and time to be silent and reflective.

I took to heart the words that one of the brothers were continously repeating (often jokingly) that the journey was more valuable than the destination itself. It had felt like the pilgrimage through Greece, Turkey, Poland, and the Czech Republic, had more impact on me than the actual WYD itself.

In many ways, it is true because it's the people who I met that have touched me the most. Hearing their voices after not seeing them for a week brings me a lot of comfort. It's almost as if they are my home, and I feel like that's where I belong. I miss their smiles. Their jokes. I miss going to sleep and having them a metre or two away. I miss their wake-up calls from hotel phones. I miss the jumping on each other's beds. I miss the late-night stories about pasts and families. I miss sharing prayers with each other. I miss sharing fears with each other. I miss learning their names and relearning them two days later. I miss the familiarity of the family on our pilgrim bus. I miss leaning on the shoulder of the person on the seat next to mine and accidently drooling on their shirt. I miss the jam-sessions. I miss the cuddling up in sleeping bags.

And speaking of sleeping bags... I distinctly remember the night of the WYD Vigil, and falling asleep with a smile on my face. For the first time, I felt that God's whispers were finally turning into loud thumps on the door of my heart and thundering shouts into my very soul. He was speaking to me so loud and clearly by then... that if I didn't turn and appreciate his message, then I'd just be stupid.

His love is in the people around us... just waiting to be tapped, waiting to be found... waiting to be discovered like a island made of chocolate and candy. It is sweet, it is lush... surrounded by confusing and fatal waves... but worth the effort of exploring. His love is so perfect, so pure...

I wrote before that I found love. In short; miss the environment in which this love was born, where it was discovered, where it thrived, where it grew and where it was so easily and so simply manifested. I miss knowing what to say and what to do.

There is much that I miss... that I hope to find here. I've found new meaning to the song "I Still Call Australia Home" because of how many times we sang it during our stay in Cologne... but I still truly believe... home is where your heart is...

And my heart is restless, Lord... until it rests in you.